I lost confidence in myself to handle police work?in myself to be a police officer?

I thought I identified with their ability to deescalate situations and their ability to be hardwired to live in a constant tense environment where their life is on the line everyday they go to work. But after remembering all the jokes people said around me when I was younger makes me lose faith that I have any ability to desescalate or be able to live in a tense environment. I think back to a few situations where I felt that I identified with police reality. What kind of people do police deal with everyday? Do people try to bust their balls try to make jokes about them too? What do they deal with everyday? Maybe I don't really understand this as well as I thought. Help?