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Is it wrong that I wanted to buy my fiancé's wedding band in this situation?

So we've been engaged a little over a year now, and when my fiancé bought my engagement & wedding ring he bought his wedding band also. His Mom pressured him into buying his wedding band also. I was a little bummed that he bought his wedding band himself because I wanted to pick it out. Plus I wanted to get a good quality one that's going to last. Am I wrong for wanting to get him another ring? I don't want to somewhat disrespect his Mom, even though my fiancé will be wearing it

12 Answers

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  • 6 years ago

    He is not marrying his mother.

    If you cannot have a mature conversation about your feelings in this, there is zero chance this marriage is ever going to last more than a matter of months.

    He may not have known better at the time, but why wasn't he asking you?

    Stand up on your own two feet, go speak to him - and him ONLY.

    Don't attack the mother bear by telling him this was wrong, but consider whether or not this guy can operate at all without her, and away from her, because if he cannot, there will be one too many females in the territory, and she was there first. If he ends up wearing a ring other than the one she bought, that alone could be the first bone of contention between you.

    If *he* cannot tell his mother he has decided to do something else, that's really all you need to know. If he starts whining about how disappointed she will be, he isn't taking you or your feelings into consideration, and if he cannot take you, "forsaking all others", there WILL be no marriage. Period.

  • 6 years ago

    Talk to him and ask what he wants.

    If you both decide that you should pick out his ring, then go buy it.

    He also needs to work on saying no to Mommy. This won't be the last time that she tries to push him around. It's not her fault if he gives in, though.

  • 6 years ago

    We are alike in this case. No its not wrong! When you have enough dollars, buy him an expensive one and do something sweet to it. The ring is a symbol of many things - Your love, Your trust, Youre everything even! It can never be disrespecting to her. She can give him a gift. You can give him much more. And if he doesnt want to wear your ring HA! Be gone! :( He has to wear the ring you give him, because you are marrying him. This is your marriage gift to him. Moms ring has to go. Sorry.

    And you do us ladies proud. Because not many ladies want to buy their husbands bands. So well done. I love women who do this!

  • 6 years ago

    Let this one go, however, he has to cut the apron strings like now, and if he can't or won't reconsider the marriage. You are not marrying his Mother and if she could persuade him to do something this important on his own, sounds like she has major control issues and you need to get it fixed like now.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Are you sure you both are ready for marriage.

    You can not talk to him about your feelings about picking an ring out together.

    He does things without talking to you.

    The ring is an small issue. If you can not communicate and talk about something so small, how are you going to handle big issues that come up in all marriages?

  • mokrie
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Don't sweat the small stuff. You have each other and that's all that really matters.

  • 6 years ago

    it is not wrong, but remember that you need to be sure his mother is going to be okay with it because in the end, it is not going to be worth it to be concerned over what wedding band he wears if it is going to give you a poor relationship with your mother in law.

  • 6 years ago

    No, it's not wrong.

  • 6 years ago

    As long as he does not have a problem with it and will wear it, then do it. Thats the point, to pick them for eachother

  • 6 years ago

    sounds like mom is controlling..

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