What's wrong with me?

I feel like it's all or nothing for me. Either I enjoy life, I'm full of confidence, nothing seems like too big a challenge for me, I love all people, I love myself, my mind is free, I'm a free spirit, music can be the most beautiful heart moving thing, I say what I like and like what I say, I see all the possible bright futures, the present is beautiful, I'm in control, I do what I need to do to achieve my goals and basically I'm an unstoppable force that can deal with everything and can make the best of everything. OR I'm anxious, I can't even see people when I look at them, I'm lost, I can't think straight, I worry about things I wouldn't think twice about, I can't see how to be happy, I can't enjoy anything, not even the things I love most, not music, I can't sleep well, I don't want to talk to anyone, I can't think of anything that would make me happy, sometimes I give up completely and fall into conformity, depression and paralysis. Even when I push myself to get on with life it's with an anxious feeling that this is what I have to do to be happy, though it doesn't make me so.

I want to be free from this stupid psychology of mine. I want to live life to the full and I don't want my mind to be paralyzed in fear.