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my poem any good?
Love is just a bug
The sun is bright and warm
snug under a rug
leaves turn up before a storm
love is safe and secure
june bugs sing in mid days heat
I scour the earth for more
giving birth to songs others may repeat
love is just a bug in stormy spring heat
4 Answers
- PopeLv 66 years ago
It's fun and simple. I think there is more to consider.
For example i find it a little bit jarring that the word 'secure' gives that line a feminine ending, which (excuse the pun) bugs me a bit. And after that a few lines have this same additional beat.
I like that you stuck to the same theme and analogies and that you ended in a conclusion of the point you'd opened at the start.
Basically, I think it's good. But I think you could make it better if you tweaked it in places.
Cheers. x
- 6 years ago
It's nice. I like it. Not quite sure I grasp the picture that poem is trying to create as a whole, but the words and stanzas do seem to mesh well. They give off a sense of unity, and that alone gives this great potential in my opinion.
- Anonymous6 years ago
It is good.
- Anonymous6 years ago
No. Too many bugs.
