I feel like I am going insane and I can't fit half of it in. I want to be happy but I can't possibly.?

Question

There is soo much stuff in my head that I can't think about how to sort things out I feel like it's 10x worse in my head than it actually is

I am obsessed with my looks, I'm not good enough and know no one will ever accept me or wanna be with me ever.

I feel like my friend makes everything be a competition and looks down on me constantly and when we got really close she knocked all my confidence down completely and I am literally so miserable I never have been so insecure in my life which lead me to being obsessed with my looks and constant putting myself down for the past 3 years and also makes me feel like my stories are so **** so I tell her nothing and complains I tell her nothing

When I tell my dad things he doesn't say much back it is like I irritate him with my problems and he doesn't want me to be there. If he is not moaning about a slightest mess I leave such as leaving my book in the kitchen he is half time alcoholic and binge drinks for about a week this happens very often. Different woman. My mums dead she was an alcoholic and drug addict (my dad doesn't take any drugs they were apart when she started taking)

My brother is heading on the same track as her as he drinks and takes coke and I don't know what else and threatened to kill me and got forgived like 5 minutes later by my dad and all his friends were down stairs and didn't give a ****. Also has a kid on the way

Failed school I'll be lucky if I get to stay on.

Got to lose a lot of weight 
Secret sis

Dellia · Accepted Answer

Do NOT self harm. It doesn't help. If you self harm then you should watch this one Youtuber named "onision" he kinda helped me stop cutting, but you should see a therapist because what you are going through sounds like you need to see one. Stay away from the people who hurt you as much as possible. Go out more, hang out with friends, it'll distract you. Find something you can do that makes you happy and takes your mind off of things and stick with it. Hint: Self harm is NOT an option!!!! Oh, and stick up for yourself!!!! No matter what the consequences will be, it is important! And if you are insecure then you can do something about it, but it cannot effect your mental or physical health. Or you can learn to accept yourself and love yourself. It's hard but it's definitely worth it. Find a new friend that doesn't make you feel insecure!!!! Not saying you should completely drop your one friend but surround yourself with people who have a positive vibe.

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I feel like I am going insane and I can't fit half of it in. I want to be happy but I can't possibly.?

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