What is the proper response when someone tells you they were at a wake/funeral?

Start with "sorry to hear that."

After you see the next response, you can decide how to respond. It is still alright to ask who it was if the person doesn't tell you. But if they avoid the question, don't pry.

"I'm sorry for your loss"

If it's someone close to them they might not feel like talking about it, so this is all that needs to be said. However, if they weren't that close to the person they can respond with more information.

That can certainly be awkward but.'.I'm so sorry, I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm here if you need anything or if you need to talk.' Also, you can send them flowers..or a thinking of you sympathy card....

when my grandma passed I did not want to talk about it..people sent me cards and it really made me feel better to know others cared.

Don't pry..but if they start to talk about it..listen

You're talking about SMS, right? You don't need to say anything. Only questions require responses.

I would probably say "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that and I hope I didn't disturb you". It's not really your business to ask who died - if they wanted to tell you who had passed away, they would've.

"Sorry to hear that"

It is also impolite to expect an immediate response.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I get back to you later?"

'I hope you are doing okay' is a good starting point.

" I am so sorry" was she/he close to you... is a decent response

just ask what happened