What does it mean when you don't care about yourself?

Your depression has caused you to be consumed by apathy. Trust me, I've been there. I stopped caring about a lot of people that mattered and burned some bridges beyond repair. Ive quit several jobs and I struggle not to quit my current one. Ive found comfort in suicidal thoughts but haven't brought myself to act on them. I don't want to do anything. But there are some good days within the bad. There are days where I can see a future for myself, it's just a matter of keeping that light lit. So for now, I'm ignoring the bad thoughts- and have for several years, because there is a reason to keep living. You have to keep searching. Recall the thing that brought you the most happiness growing up and use that as your rock. Mine has always been animals. I hope to one day open my own shelter to help those who were forgotten. And maybe one day, with the therapy of animals, I will be able to reconnect with those who I had forgotten. It will get better. Trust yourself that you can overcome it.