What to do about husband's less-than-perfect driving?

My wife used to make me feel that way because she would tailgate horribly. I explained to her how it made me feel and that I wanted her to allow a following distance consistent with official driving instruction guidelines while I was a passenger. This, of course, had only limited success. I also made it clear that I didn't like riding with her as a passenger and I would prefer to drive. Unfortunately she found it very difficult to be a passenger because she wanted to have control over the route we followed and how fast we got there (she thinks I drive slowly, maybe because I don't actually touch the car in front of me-- I usually drive the limit plus 5). Not having much success with either of those tactics, I offered the solution that since we have two cars, I could simply drive the other one and we could take both cars wherever we went. This, of course, is a silly suggestion, but it helped her to see how ridiculous the whole situation was, so she quickly began to improve. I did continue to remind her and insist on a good following distance. It is not nagging if your safety is at stake. I insisted on the grounds of fairness that I drive at least half the time. Now years later things have come around to the point where I drive almost all the time out of habit and on the occasions when she drives, she does not tailgate. The issue is completely in the past.

In your situation, the problem is not tailgating, but as you describe it, slow reaction time. Obviously reaction time cannot be consciously improved. However, I think what you are describing as slow reactions might really be a habit of not looking far enough down the road and anticipating what will be happening 5 to 10 seconds ahead. Some people just look 2 seconds ahead and ignore the rest. He may be able to change that behavior and become a better driver, with the right motivation. It will take some work on your part to communicate and set boundaries where appropriate. Much easier to sit there quietly and resent. But I don't think you want to live the rest of your life that way, so it is worth it.

Close your eyes and bit your lip. You can tell a man many things but the one thing you can't tell him is that he's a bad driver. You don't say how old he is but if he's reaching that time in life where he needs to consider not driving that's an awful wrench to his freedom. Maybe buy him a track day or a skills course.

Since you text and drive I would be terribly scared of your driving too.

You are not a perfect driver.

If the word "wreck" or the excuse "I was in a car accident" has ever been used in your lifetime - you are NOT even a decent driver.

Sit in the back seat. It is safer.