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Lv 5

I feel so lost end empty without my wife?

we split about 6months ago and I've just felt so empty and lonely without her, I've lost so much motivation. nearly quit my job. feel like taking up drinking alcohol, I've never drank before. everytime I see a big tree while driving I wonder if I should just drive into it. what should I do?

5 Answers

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  • .
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    Seek counseling. Seriously. Talk to a grief counselor or just 'regular' counselor. You need someone to help you see the positive and potential, and stop basing the quality of your life on someone else. NO ONE is worth dying over. No one. There are over 3 billion other females on the planet, and plenty of them are as good or better matches for you than your ex wife.

  • J. C.
    Lv 6
    6 years ago

    You need to go talk to either a group of people or a counselor. There are a couple things going on, one is isolation, and the only way to fix that is to talk to strangers and meet new people. you aren't doing that, can tell just by your question.

    Look at videos by Noah Elkreif. on youtube, they aren't just be happy videos - instead he explains things very simply, and it makes sense.

    Also try watching "dream big Motivational video" on youtube . Donatello posted it i think, it's about 6 minutes long. May not do anything for you, but it really helped me, so I am sharing it. There are also online support groups.

    The real thing that you need to discover and figur out for yourself, so that you know it is true and not just me telling you - is that the bad feelings that you have, the HORRIBLE feelings are in fact meant to get you to change what you are doing. It is emotional PAIN intended to get you to CHANGE and GROW.

    You NEED to DO NEW things that you are NOT doing now. Watch the movie "YES MAN" with Jim Carrey. It is just a movie, but the particular message is absolutely true in that you need to say YES to LIFE. You need to GROW and be scared and do new things that you are afraid of doing. You need to date, and exercise, and try new sports or hobbies (not video games, real activities that get you moving.). You need to care about something again.

  • 6 years ago

    Do you have kids? If so remember they still need you in their lives. It helps to talk to someone, it doesn't have to be a stranger. It can be a family member, family friend, co-worker, there have been numerous people who have gone through your situation. What helped me through my divorce is getting back to doing things I enjoyed before I got married in the first place.

  • 6 years ago

    You sound like you're in a depression.....talk to your doctor or a therapist.

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    The Cause of Inner Emptiness

    Most people who feel empty have no idea what is supposed to be in that empty space. They try to fill it externally with food, drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, approval, connection with others, computer games, spending, gambling, a new car, a new boat, a new computer or iPad or other toys. They feel a momentary feeling of fullness and then the emptiness returns. They might believe they are empty because they don't have a relationship, or their relationship isn't loving or connected, or they don't have enough sex or enough money or enough things. Perhaps they believe that having another child will do it for them, or getting a bigger house or having more friends or a new job. They often believe that if only someone really loved them, then they would feel full inside.

    I've worked with people who have everything they believed would fill them up and they still feel empty. They seek my help because they are suffering and they don't know what to do about it.

    Inner emptiness does not come from a lack of something external -- not even a lack of being loved by someone else. It comes from a lack of one thing only: a lack of awareness of the love that is the energy we live in. You can call this love God or spirit or light or whatever else you want. The fact is, we live in a universe of love, and unless you know how to open yourself to that love -- to feel it within your heart and soul -- you will feel empty inside. Once you know how to embrace the love within, then you not only feel full inside, but you know that you are not alone in the universe -- that love is always here for you. And once you experience yourself full to overflowing with love, you will have love to share with others. You no longer need to try so hard to get love from others. You are no longer empty and needy for something external to fill your emptiness and make you feel okay. The Secret to Filling Yourself With Love

    The love that fills us is always available to each of us -- if we know how to access it.

    Love automatically flows through an open heart. The heart is like a doorway to the universe -- when it is open, love flows into and through us.

    The secret to having an open heart and being filled up with love lies with your intent.

    When your intent is to avoid your painful feelings with various addictions, and to protect against rejection or engulfment, and to have control over getting approval or sex or money or other things, your heart closes down. The intent to protect/avoid/control automatically closes the heart. Love cannot be felt with a closed heart.

    When you choose the intent to learn about loving yourself, the heart automatically opens. When you want responsibility for defining your own worth, for creating your own sense of safety, and for taking loving action in your own behalf, the heart opens and the energy of love that is spirit flows freely, replacing the empty feeling with the fullness of love. When you are willing to stop abandoning yourself with various addictions and instead open to learning about loving yourself, you will begin to feel the fullness of love within your heart and soul. This is when, instead of always trying to get love or turning to the love-substitutes of different addictions, you have love to share with others. The more you share love from the fullness of your heart, the fuller you feel. This is why we are often told to give to others as a way of feeling fulfilled. Giving to others is deeply fulfilling when we are loving ourselves and filling ourselves with love, and then sharing our love and fullness with others -- with no need to get anything back because we are already filled to the brim with love. Giving with an agenda of getting attention or approval does just the opposite, closing the heart and leading to feelings of emptiness.You will continue to feel empty as long as you continue to abandon yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. When you decide it's time to take responsibility for yourself and learn to open your heart to love, you will no longer feel empty within. pray

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