I need to poop?

Coffee? or an energy drink. They effect your nervous system and can definitely help you poop. Smoking a cigarette can also help but I don't recommend it. Strangely if I take tylenol pm on an empty stomach it works instantly. (I take about 4 at a time which is not the recommended but please use caution with it since it does slow your heart rate and effects the liver.. too much and one could die). Obviously exlax would work. If you don't mind waiting a day or so eat a ton of fiber. Preferably in the form of fruit, since there won't be any saturated fat, cholesterol or other things that will counteract the fiber. If all else fails (and yes I understand how gross what I am about to suggest is) a suppository, if you don't have any or access to any than use your finger and a clean (sanitized) object and insert it into the rectum. It will help stimulate the muscles to get it going. I know karo syrup is suggested for infants, I'm not sure if it'll help in older ages. Hope some of this helps.