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My partner's just got a job in a nightclub. I dont know how to feel.?
Me and him have been together for over a year. We are engaged and we are young. He's quite a popular guy so a lot of girls and guys know him, especially on nights out. He also has a lock on his phone and refuses to let me go on it because once I did and he caught me and said he didnt trust me with his phone. Ever since then he wont let me go on it. I never went on it a lot. But...anyways, so he wont let me on his phone. Now I stay at his every night near enough and hes now got a job at a nightclub on the weekends.
Something about this is making me really paranoid. He already has another job and I dont like the idea of him working in a club whilst im at home alone. I understand some of you say hes allowed to work where he wants to which is exactly what he says.
But im really paranoid. From what I know hes never cheated on me. Thats what he tells me and Ive never been told he has so from what Im aware of he hasnt. But...theres something inside me making me really paranoid about this. What if one night we argue and he gives his number out to spite me? Or worse?
I know a lot of you will say im over reacting and being pathetic but im writing this because I want help to deal with the paranoia. Paranoia is a mental problem that cant always be helped. How have any of you overcome paranoia? What can I do to calm myself down?
2 Answers
- Anonymous5 years ago
Rule of thumb of any relationship--is how I will approach the answer to your question.
Any type of relationship involves a certain amount of trust.
In this case--you were found distrustful of him--and his reaction to your distrust was to block you out.
Yet you both got into a more committed relationship despite this.
Another aspect of this--is that people allow or agree to a variety of dos and donts in relationships--and there is no hard and fast rules--only what is acceptable for those two people.
Generally, a basic relationship--parent/child, husband/wife, bf/gf, friend/friend--has their own specific dos and donts.
The best one or ideal one--is where someone is given a second chance--in your case.
Since he has not--it gives you insight in to the type of person you are dealing with--a private and secretive person.
The problem is not so much paranoia in your case--but disappointment and hurt--that you are not let back in on the opportunity to use the phone--all because they chose not to--since you could have been given the opportunity to do so---in a basic run of the mill relationship.
Lots of times, when people suspect something is up--usually trusting their instincts--is usually right 7 out of 10 times.
This is unbalanced obvious, since you are definitely both not on the same page.
You are less uptight.
He is over-protective of his privacy.
Of course paranoia would only come in if your fears were unfounded--doubt it.
The issue here is not paranoia--but you have a lack of understanding of the person you are committed to.
You have an open concept--the other person has a secretive/private one.
This is the reality here--not paranoia--since it makes sense to know who you hitched to--
Just saying.
- 5 years ago
first lets tackle your self esteem why do you feel like you do why do you have doubt over your relationship what does your boyfriend do for you do you live together how many hours spent together do you have children have you talked about the future together is this what you want where does it need improving why is he working so hard is he a barman DJ or bouncer had someone cheated on you before do you feel left behind ?
