What to Do About a Controlling Husband?

Question

My best friend used to live in the same town as me and moved up to Arkansas, where she met her current husband. Everything started out normal and eventually led to her getting pregnant. A little bit before the pregnancy, her husband started becoming little by little more controlling and hostile with his words. It has gotten to the point where if she doesn't agree with him, he will call her worthless and a monster and other names, putting high amount of stress on the baby. My friend wants to come back down here to get away from him, but she was told by him that Arkansas law says a pregnant married woman cannot leave the state if her husband says she can't. She said she wanted to leave and get away from him, and he went to his mothers house and basically talk to his mother into agreeing with him and they both said that if she doesn't do with the both of them say that they will call the police and have her institutionalized. Now, he has told my friend that I told him I don't want anything to do with her and that's just a plain lie. He also told her that she is not allowed to speak to any of her friends or family without his approval. She's very freaked out about this and does not know what to do. What are her options?

revsuzanne · Accepted Answer

Classic. It always starts with verbal abuse, followed by cutting the woman off from her support system (family, friends, church, job...), followed by beating. Each beating is followed by a honeymoon period, followed by a more extreme beating... and the progression continues until she bolts from the house in fear for her life.
She needs to get the hell out of there.
She needs to capture any and all financial information she can so she can file for divorce now and file against him for child support after the baby is born.  She is entitled 1/2 of all assets accrued during the marriage, and she is likely entitled to at least limited spousal support... depending on which state.
Most states offer divorce for under $400... that is cheap. She can hit the bookstore and pick up the latest do-it-yourself divorce guide for her state... get the one with all the forms on a CD if possible. He may fight her on the child support... that is what courts are for.

lala · Answer

Its not true she cannot leave

This is pure control and very abusive   its just the opposite she could charge him of imprisonment

Tell your friend to leave and go to the police with her story of abuse and threats 
 This guy is dangerous ;; so she will have to leave when he is not home

uppurass · Answer

Leave! She just needs to jump into the next train or bus or whatever and return home. After that she can get a court retraining order against him and his family if they harass her.

i + i · Answer

As 'cynica' said -- she just 
needs to leave. ASAP. 
Quickly, and quietly.

Universeone · Answer

Just leave him and move to her mom house.
There is no such law.

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What to Do About a Controlling Husband?

5 Answers