How can I handle unsolicited advice from family ?

Question

I had my daughter last Tuesday and we are staying at my grandmothers house for the next couple of days. Since it's the holidays that older generations are here. 60-90 and everybody has their input !.. I was told by my doctor that I shouldn't give my child water and when I said that I don't give my baby water my family looked like they were going to pass out !.. I am using ready to use formula and I was told that I shouldn't put it in the microwave well again all of the older women said that I need to put it in the microwave for 5-10 minutes to take the chill off .. My baby's ear hurts her and my great grandmother (she's 88) put warm oil and cotton in her ear... I don't want to do any of this ! I actually want to follow the advice of my doctor but my great grandmother replies that she "raised four generations" including me ... Also they planned to have her christened this weekend because this is the last time that we will all be together .. I put a stop to that because I'm agnostic .. How can I stop the older generation and their opinions ? Are they doing any real harm by giving her water and putting wax down her ears ?

D · Accepted Answer

Keep hold of your baby, and go home as soon as possible. Yes, water could harm your baby. Don't allow them to give plain water. I am not sure how you determined that your baby's ear hurts, but that is worth a trip to the pediatrician. An ear problem in a newborn only a few days old is quite unusual. You have to develop your mommy backbone now, because lots of people will tell you what you should do. Take advice that is sensible to you, check with other sources, and ignore the rest. You are the mother, and sometimes that means disagreeing with generations who did things differently.

Anonymous · Answer

You are responsible for your child's welfare. That includes ignoring unwise advice. If you aren't strong enough to cope you shouldn't have become a mother. The option now is to move back to your own place if you can't deal with the interference.

im ho tep · Answer

I'm an atheist but if I could please my grandmother (who isn't here anymore btw) by christening my child then I don't see any problem. Easy to say as you are in the thick of things but I would humour them if I was in your shoes.I'm sure no harm will come to your baby if you follow the old folks advice.

Anonymous · Answer

Kardashian fans belong in Guantanamo and that's a fact!

Pippin · Answer

You say 'no thank you.' 'No thank you.'  
And you keep a firm hold on your baby.
And you return to your own home as quickly as possible.

(And since the priest or minister will ask you, before baptizing the baby, if you plan on raising her in your faith,' and you would, presumably say 'no' to him -- he will not baptize your baby just to please some distant relatives.)

amber · Answer

Very nicely but firmly tell them ur the mother and what u say goes

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How can I handle unsolicited advice from family ?

6 Answers