Husband giving me and his mom exact same gifts on Valentine’s day?

treating one's parents with love and respect and showing them gratitude and kindness is nothing short of rare these days when people ship their parents off to high priced nursing homes to assuage the guilt of not ever giving them the time of day. Mind you I wouldn't take my dad or mom to McDonalds, that's disrespectful lol. I'd love to see my brother pick up the phone or send a fathers day card to dad even once, if he spent 1 percent of the time and energy on his own parents that he spends on his wife, it would be a good day.

There is a lot of info missing- I mean we all hear about the boys/grown men who ask mom for advice or side with mom even when she puts down the wife, or bosses around - you know, everybody loves raymond style. But other than him going to his mom's house after you guys have a fight to cool off, you didn't mention anything of that nature.

I really personally don't think splitting hairs about dollar value or whatever is cool. Gifts are given, they're not a notch on the bed post, marriage post or other post. In fact given that 'flowers and chocolate' is a bit of a cliche, I would be not nitpicking about who got what. People give gifts hopefully with some thought, and I mean if we have some expectations about what we think we should get, then it's really tough to feel gratitude for the things we have and get. I don't agree with the comment about 'getting it wrong the first time' - Guys get a bad rap, when in fact I think there is so much pressure and propaganda in jewelry ads and hollywood and what constitutes considerate or generous. When in fact the very act of giving is generous, and you can't put a price tag on that, nor should you. Nor should you compare for then you lose sight of the whole point of someone giving generously to you.

Sadly the ads make men and women believe that the only thogughtful gift is diamonds or a trip to Bali and anything else is crap, or our boyfriends/husbands don't care, or whatever. Everyone gives differently. Grace and gratitude are great virtues to practice every day :)

Don't know. I take it you don't buy your Dad anything for Valentine's Day. My Dad was a widower for many years and I'd occasionally get him a "Thank you" card (not a lover card like I do for my spouse), and give both he and my husband a treat I knew they both liked, and made sure I saw my Dad and gave him a hug. I TREATED my dad and my husband very differently on Valentine's Day but I did often give them the same small gifts. No one got mad at me.

every Saturday - and doesn't bring anything for you and his child? there is something WRONG with that

I don't know I wouldn't mind flowers as a gift to his mother who raised him - and calling to check in almost every day I know is a bit much but would handle it - going over there 5 times a week and taking away from family time? I'd be furious - he could invite her for dinner to your house once a week so he is at home with you too - and I'd be ok with him checking in for a few minutes on his way home from work but if he ate there or stayed there long - I'd think he was taking away from family time - his child is 3 - every day discovery new things, accomplishments - he should be there to witness them

I would explain to your husband that you would prefer he bring his mom to your house once a week for dinner so that you and the baby get the pleasure of her company as well

and I would offer to stop at her house during the day with the baby while he was at work once a week - so he didn't have to so he could be home for family time

baby steps - and compromise

nah, lots of guys are kind of stupid about valentines...it's a common thing. lol. He tried his best. Just tell him it bothers you and he will most likely fix it. Trust me....guys never get it right the first time lol. Say thank you anyway and just say it would be less weird if yours was a bit different. It's kind of like when people buy those boxed multiple christmas cards with copies of the same 4 cards and sends it to people...the thought was there but its not cool if anymore finds out lol

I don't think you should be upset, he is just a momma'a boy. If my boyfriend mom was still here I wouldn't have a problem with him doing that. He's giving back to his mother for everything she's done for him. Also, he likely has a lot less time with her than he does you..

I don't think you should be upset about it, until you talk to him about it. Why does he take her breakfast on the weekend, but bring you nothing?

As for the V'day gifts, it sounds like he simply has no imagination or no real desire to shop for anything personal. Cards and flowers are easy, if cliche' so he gets all the significant women in his life the same thing. That's just a lazy gift-giver (be happy you get anything, because clearly he's not the shopping type).

As for the rest of his behavior toward his mom, you'll need to take that up with him. If he behaved that way while you were dating, then it doesn't make sense for you to be upset about it now. If he didn't, then find out why he does it now.

Are you kidding me? Your husband treats his mother wonderfully. You should be PROUD you married such a wonderful man. Also, I'm assuming his mother is OLD? Meaning he is taking care of her as she once did for him, regardless of all of his siblings. Again, you should be proud of this, as he will also teach YOUR kids what a good child does for his elderly parents.

I can't even believe this is an issue. Take pride in knowing how wonderful your husband is and feel lucky that he married you, he sounds like one in a million.

I don't think it's that weird but it seems like he is over attached to her. Maybe try talking to him about it because well I know some guys who love their moms alot and that's great because their moms are the first woman they ever loved but he needs to also care about his wife.. So talk to him about it

Sure, it's a little odd that he gives y'all the same V-Day gifts, but, I think you're actually a bit jealous of the attention he gives to his mother.

Not weird, he is just frugal and not creative. Just smile and say thanks. Most men see through Valentine's day as nothing more than a lame excuse to spend money on expensive pointless things (like Pandora jewelry) and he may not want to put you and him in any more debt.