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Why do I always seem to fall for the wrong people?
So back in high school I had my first proper relationship with a girl but that didn't work out on the account that she is straight, which at the time she thought she was bisexual. So yeah. That was a mess.
In college I had my second proper relationship, this time with a guy and turned out he is gay, again dating under the premise he was bisexual.
So yeah, with those relationships I totally screwed up.
And then after those two relationships I went through a long period of rejection which caused my confidence to totally crash. Okay, I guess I had two people who showed interest in me, two guys but their pick up lines largely focused on "Hey do you want to get into bed with me?", which although that is where a relationship would usually lead I don't want that to be the pick up line.
So yeah, anyway I recently started talking to this guy who is really sweet and everything and totally perfect for me, but he doesn't want to be in any sort of relationship right now on account of his mental health (and it totally isn't a lie).
Just seems no matter who I fall for though, they are totally wrong for me and the odd times someone approaches me, they start off down the road of sex, more like one night stand material sort stuff.
I'm not even that picky, as long as I like a person's personality, which in most cases I will unless you are a total *** hole I'd date anyone.
How come I keep falling for and attracting the wrong people?
I'm 23 now by the way.
Never dated anyone who doesn't have respect for me.
Watch my Mum go through loads of abusive partners whether that was emotionally or physically, etc. Not making her mistakes.
Just to add, I usually take quite a bit of time to get to know someone before I date them.
2 Answers
- CarolineLv 75 years ago
Without knowing you I'm not sure what you expect us to say. I can only speak from my experience which is that until I was about 35, I "allowed" guys to choose me as opposed to me making a choice to date them. Because of that, I pretty much just dated those who asked me. None of these relationships went anywhere good, so at about 35, I met a guy at a grocery store (he worked there) and thought he was really cute. After talking to him for a bit to get a sense of his character, I gave him my number. We'll be married almost 10 years in July.
The point is, be more deliberate about your choices. It's also possible that you're putting out a vibe that says I"m easy pickings because I'm not sure what I want. Don't settle and make better choices. I had to learn that myself.
- Happy-2Lv 75 years ago
It is human nature to love and want to be loved. We want to find the perfect partner to share our hearts and lives with. When your self-esteem is healthy, you are more likely to select a mate who mirrors love and respect back to you. By the same token, if your self-esteem is low or nonexistent, you will likely find someone who mirrors your low opinion of yourself and who perhaps treats you with little or no respect. Furthermore, if this is the case, you may stay with that partner (or find new partners who are equally lacking in respect) because, deep down, you don’t believe you deserve anyone better. Essentially, if you don’t love and respect yourself, it will be very hard to find a partner who does.
