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? asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 5 years ago

Should I still be friends with her?

I used to be best friends with this girl, Tess. We were really really close but we sort of drifted and I realised I was putting WAY more effort into our friendship so eventually we stopped talking. I was really hurt when we did but it was literally causing me so much stress trying to be friends with her.

It's been a year and she messaged me the other day saying she was sorry and didn't know why we stopped being friends and that she wanted to try be friends again.

I've sort of moved on, like I've made new friends and gotten on with life, and now I look back she always made me feel like I had to try be someone I wasn't, or run in my face how popular she was. She was still a good friend though so idk! My friend suggested I try be friends with her again, not best friends but just civil. It's only day 2 of us talking again and while I've missed her a lot I'm already feeling like like I'm trying harder to fix this than her. She hasn't even offered to meet up for a coffee or catch up. I feel like it's all my job to fix things now and while there's a big part of me that wants to I don't know if I should!

What should I do???

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Sometimes, the best way is to bluntly tell her why you cut her off. Just text her saying that you were getting stressed out by the effort you were putting into your friendship, so you cut her off even if it hurt you. Apologize for not opening up about the problem sooner. Tell her that you love and care for her(because you really do). And tell her that you want to be happy when being friends with her, not stressed out. Basically, just open up to her and she`ll understand. If she doesn`t, I suggest you tell her that you won`t be able to handle the stress and that if she can`t put any effort into the friendship, you won`t be able to remain friends with her,

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