Christian way to handle being pressured to lie?

Honesty can be respectful, if it's done respectfully.

You can just say something like, "You're very kind and generous to offer us this money, but I can't accept it. It would hurt Husband's pride if he knew, and I don't want to keep secrets from him. I promise we'll both let you know if we ever need the help, and I won't forget how kind you were to make the offer."

It doesn't take an xian to give advice on the matter. Show sincere appreciation for the offers of help, but tell them you two are doing okay and you both want to make it on your own. Let them know how much it means that they are willing and able to help. Maybe even suggest they use that money toward a charitable cause or give to someone who truly is in need and not able to pay their bills or buy food.

If your husband specifically asked you not to take the money, then the only right way to take it would be if you told him you were doing it. You don't have to say "no" to family, but that would mean accepting it with the full knowledge of your husband, and accepting his reaction to that.

If you two can make it without financial help, that's great. There may be a day when you can't, and those offers of help will be what keeps you afloat. If that time comes, where you accept the money, it could always be with the stipulation that you will pay it back (a loan, not a gift). That should help your husband feel less bad about accepting help.

It depends on the situation. If you have children to care for and provide for, then pride definitely takes a back seat, and you should not cater to your husband's pride. You are an adult with your own mind and your own right to be respected. You are trying to pass the buck of responsibility onto your husband's wishes and even onto your mother in law, when it is your decision whether to accept help or not. You don't have to ask your husband's permission. He doesn't have to accept help, but you can if you want to, and he does not have the right to decide for you. You are an equal partner in your marriage. This is not the Middle Ages. You are on a computer, so I'm guessing you're not Amish. Is your head always covered like the Bible says? Are you allowed to speak in church or teach men? So why would you want to follow the interpretation where you are to be under your husband's authority? That is not part of being a Christian. You don't have to tell your husband about every decision you make, but it would not be right to lie to him, either. Make up your own mind and stick to it. You have every right to accept help if you want to accept help. You have every right not to accept help if you don't want the help. However, you should not be encouraging or catering to your husband's foolish pride, either.

Honesty is important in a relationship. If he ever finds out (which he probably will) you will have broken the trust and the relationship. Sit down with your husband, start by saying "You know we have been barely scraping by, and it is hard for the people who love us to sit back and watch. They wanted me to take money and hide it from you, but that would be a sign of disrespect, and as the man I love, I would never disrespect you. That is why I am telling you now. I know your pride has been under attack, and you don't want to accept any help. Would you deny the people who love you, and are able to act, to be denied the grace of a good deed due to your pride?" Use this tack and it may soften his heart.

It is wonderful that you want to respect your husband and be truthful with him Ephesians 5:33 mentions: "Nevertheless, each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband"

•“a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Being “one flesh" implies that a husband and wife form a new family, one that takes priority over their families of origin.

•it is important that you give your husband deep respect. But it is also important that you continue to honor your parents (Eph 6:2). Your marriage mate should take top priority. So why don't you try communicating with your husband, letting him know what's on your mind, and the pressures your getting from family members. And politely explain to your mother in law that you value your husbands concerns and need to come to a mutual agreement with him, all though you appericate her generosity and advice.

The best way to handle this is just accept the help, and then don't lie to your husband. He needs to understand that you are both in this together, and that you are unwilling to dig yourselves deeper into a hole to save his pride.

Ask your mother to talk to her son in private and work it out. Insist on not being the middle man, so to speak. What happened in my friends church when a woman wanted a micro wave and her out back husband did not want nuked food, was that the women got together and asked the oldest elder man of the church to give one to her husband for his birthday! The man could not refuse the 91 yr olds present and the woman got her micro wave. So is there an aged person who could give $ to your husband, which he could not refuse?

I would not be able to lie about, to know that I deceived my wife. I would have to tell her, regardless of how angry she would become. Many have no issues keeping secrets from their spouse, I view it as breaking the very trust that binds us. I am not religious either.

It is not such a small thing if you are having conflicts about telling your husband. If he would not like or appreciate the help, then you, as his partner, should support him in this position. And, if he cannot trust you with the little things, what trust can he have in you for anything?

Your husband may know that gifts from his family come at a price. I would struggle through, but thank them for the offers. Good luck.