Thoughts on this poem would be appreciated, can I tempt you to comment?

It's a lovely piece, but somehow I found in it a way to be disturbed by thoughts of the grave. The fourth stanza called my attention strongly to a thing the speaker does that I cannot do when sitting in my backyard---ignore the blooming, birdy, buggy business always going on there.

And that chilled me slightly---no, not horrified me, but it alerted me to that meaning secreted there, and made the 'dusk . . night' connection maybe too circle-of-life for my comfort. The effect on meaning rippled back up through the earlier stanzas---a magnificent poetic effect, that jarred me.

And yet it could be that I'm seeing too much the real and grim in the still-innocent idyll . . . but no, you cannot be here only in an idyll.

So, uh, I guess ya wrote a pretty strong piece here, okay?

It is a good thought you put forward and poems come in many forms but each has a beat to the words depending on the form used........your form has a great beat in first stanza but you lose it here and there where you cut a verse short.......thanks for sharing.........

It's lovely Cassie...it has a lilt to it...a graceful tune...that only you can achieve with words!

Sit awhile alone...you are in good company...!

Thats amazing. Have you considered becoming a writer? Because writing is a talent of yours. I cant even imagine writing something THAT good. Keep up the good work! :)

Your tenses in your ;last verse here cassie are mixed;

that said, this is a visual and emotional jewel....a garnet, maybe.

x

Lapiz

I love it, I think this belongs near the top of any of yours I've read. <3