What do women mean when they say they feel "used" by a man who has sex with them but won't commit?

Well, the "concept" is, guys lead a girl on, act like they are all into her and want to date or potentially start a relationship, when all they seek is casual sex.

If a guy wants something casual with a girl, possibly sexual, he needs to PUT IT OUT THERE from the start.

Leading someone on, and pretending we "like" them just to get sex is what assholes do. Gentlemen are up front and honest.

There is your answer. And this happens all of the time. Guys are dishonest, do not say what they are really seeking sex only, and people get emotionally harmed.

I guess some guys think it's ok to be a user and a liar and an asshole.

If you go for the sex as an exchange of energy

then you can not feel used.

It's your own thoughts and expectations that you have, which dont or cannot come true, that people feel like they have been used.

You can not blaim that on the other

A man can also feel " used."

He gives his energy, just the same

Those women who want marriage from the guy they will have sex with are very smart women. If all women had such expectations then we wouldn't have any abortions or single mothers or children living in the streets because let's face it... all those problems are the result of premarital sex. I know our liberal society has decided that the solution to all those problems is "contraceptives"... however.. those "cool contraceptives" don't work 100% of the time.. Only abstinence works 100% of the time.

I feel like some women, a lot of women, get connected emotionally to people they have sex with. I'm talking from my own experiences and people I know, so I can't speak for everyone. But typically when two people have sex bond grows and sometimes women want more than sex. So when a girl gets feelings for a "friend with benefits" and the friend doesn't return those feelings, sometimes it can feel like you are being used for pleasure and pleasure only. Which can be insulting and degrading and just overall make you feel like a crappy person. Some women stick it out cause they truly fell hard for this "friend" and have hopes that it can become something more. I think it boils down to us being more emotional and connected when it comes to sex.

Update: used doesn't necessarily mean deception. Especially if its clear from the start. I knew I was being used once, a stupid part of myself believed that the boy might grow attached to me because we were intimate. I had feelings, he didn't. It sucked. It sucked reaaal bad, I did feel used, cause he knew I liked him yet he kept fooling around with me with no intention to commit. I on the otherhand had the mindset that he would eventually commit. He used my feelings to get what he wanted, he played with my mind. Made me constantly think there was a chance, there wasn't. But I didn't know that. Some people don't even realize when they are doing this to another human being, Now I look back at the situation and I am repulsed by both his and my own behavior.

Can i just say your a real piece of **** and a coward as well. Let me ask you did you tell her from the jump hey i am not looking for any kind of relationship just casual sex in fact im talking to other girls as well and plan to have sex with them as well. No you didnt because saying that will dry a womans pussy up so quick. The truth is guys act a certain type of way start texting alot be aware of things thats most important to a girl and show interest in them as well. Its all very manipulative and then they hit it and cut the broad off then call her psycho for asking a explanation of what happened. A girl can get dick on her worst day obviously you did something to get her to trust you scumbag otherwise why would she let you. We arent in heat like guys are we can take it or leave it doesnt bother us either way . You guys are the ones who act like thirsty cowards desperate for some.

Those women are being se xist and it's sad and pathetic...They had se x too. Someone uses you if they r a p e you...How can consensual se x be using each other, unless in a regressive mind there good women only have marital se x, so to make her a good woman you msut promise her commitment utter patriarchal BS...

One can be used by someone else if they manipulate us, they are using us as means to their end, but this has nothing to do with se x in particular...

I feel sorry for women who talk and think like that...

They mean exactly the same thing as a man who was used by a women for sex but would not commit.

Done right sex should be a bonding of body and soul that does generate commitment.

The woman is having sex with the man because she believes by doing so he will commit to her. When a man uses a woman, he tells her what she wants to hear in order to get her to have sex with him.

Yes, usually both receive pleasure, but the sex is consensual under false pretenses.

ADD: If a woman is feeling used by an honest man, then she has some issues or is jaded by past experiences. She has trust issues and that is not the man's fault.

If they have sex with a man on the assumption that this means that he intends to stay with them, even want to marry then without being sure that this is the case then it is liable to end badly. If they have sex on the understanding that it is purely for pleasure and with no such expectations they can have a great time together with no regrets, provided of course that contraception is used. The thing is that, should they not clarify their agenda and go ahead any way, particularly when alcohol is involved, disappointment and the feeling of being used ensues. One thing is for sure they should never use sex as a way to trap a man.

well i think a woman only has the right to feel used if they were led to believe it was more or the actions of the guy made it seem like sex wasn't the only thing on the agenda,if a man acts like he cares about a woman and wants to be with her and then turns around and says he doesn't want a commitment or relationship after she slept with him then there's the problem.people have to be honest about what they want pretty much upfront or it usually leads to hurt feelings,this goes for both men and women.if all someone wants is sex that;s fine but you have to clue the other person in or your not being fair to them.