How do I deal with a friend who constantly tries to push my buttons?

Question

After thinking about it, she always tries to make me angry just out of a normal conversation. For example, I'm out of town to meet my family and she invited me to a movie night with some friends. I politely declined, stating why I physically cannot be there. She replied "I guess you just don't care about your friend anymore, but it's ok". 
I finally realize that she gets the pleasure from making other people feel like crap and upset about themselves, guilting them into thinking that they did something wrong regardless of the situation.
The negative energy really brought me down and made me frustrated. I did bring this up to her many times but she always tries to instigate crap out of nowhere and push my buttons from nothing.
Is it time to call this unhealthy friendship off?

tellitlikeitis · Accepted Answer

She's not your friend then, is she?  Why would a friend want to be unkind to you?  Makes no sense.  Drop her.

Anonymous · Answer

I would call her on it- if she something like that to you again, say 'that was really a hurtful and uncalled for comment" and if she tries to go on like nothing happened, say "I can't talk to you right now" and if she apologizes to you, you can talk it over/ or give her another chance on it if you want.

You could also bring it up to her before she does it again, say "You've been making a lot of comments lately that really hurt my feelings" and see what happens.

MsBittner · Answer

Before calling the friendship off outright, call her on her unreasonable behavior. Object when she does this and tell her to knock it off, in clear terms rather than softening the blow.

"You know I'm not in town, and you know damned well that doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Why the hell would you say that?"

That blunt.

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How do I deal with a friend who constantly tries to push my buttons?

3 Answers