How do I deal with a friend who constantly tries to push my buttons?

Question

After thinking about it, she always tries to make me angry just out of a normal conversation. For example, I'm out of town to meet my family and she invited me to a movie night with some friends. I politely declined, stating why I physically cannot be there. She replied "I guess you just don't care about your friend anymore, but it's ok". 
I finally realize that she gets the pleasure from making other people feel like crap and upset about themselves, guilting them into thinking that they did something wrong regardless of the situation. 
The negative energy really brought me down and made me frustrated. I did bring this up to her many times but she always tries to instigate crap out of nowhere and push my buttons from nothing. 
Is it time to call this unhealthy friendship off?

Patricia · Accepted Answer

What she says is never about YOU, it's about her and her "self-pity mode" and her selfish bitchy behavior. I have a person in my life like this and i have to associate with her, otherwise i'd never talk with her at all.... I ignore her comments because again, they are about HER and her inner misery and her lack of understanding that other people aren't going to jump or take a shlt when she wants them to. It's immature behavior.

And no one can MAKE YOU FEEL anything you are not predisposed to feeling. Why do you feel bad because your friend is selfish and doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself?

Call the friendship off if you want.

And no one can MAKE YOU FEEL anything you are not predisposed to feeling. Why do you feel bad because your friend is selfish and doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself?

Call the friendship off if you want.

Sam · Answer

I had a friend like it and it took me a long time to realize she was doing everything intentionally. Once when confronted she apologised by saying that she doesn't know from where she got such devilish thoughts but she keeps doing it. Stay away because she is not gonna change. Start avoiding her, giving short replies in texts, not meeting. Slowly cut it off. If she pushes you too much be blunt and tell her you're done being her friend.

Dani · Answer

I feel right now there is something in her life that makes her feel like crap, could be family, a relationship gone wrong, idk anything she didn't or doesn't take well. Has she changed ? Was she always like that ? She's trying to make herself feel better, but she's only pushing ppl away. You should just stop being friends with her, yes she'll start saying you don't care about her & other mean things, but in all honesty you do care BC you at least tried to get her to notice she's wrong && is hurting ppl. It's ok don't feel bad ppl suck after changing at times.

Katherine W · Answer

Yes, this is where you call it off. You've tried to talk to her, she continues doing it.

You can just back away slowly and be less in contact, or you can tell her why.

Jason · Answer

all comes back to your processing skills and overall mental health

nothing whatsoever to do with that friend or any other person

if you work on becoming a genuinely well adjusted human being all your interactions with the world will be near effortless

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How do I deal with a friend who constantly tries to push my buttons?

5 Answers