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My parents make me feel anxious and suicidal.Advice?

For my entire life my parents have been violent towards eachother.My mother and siblings would gang up on me and emotionally abuse me without my fathers knowlege.At some points starving me and blaming me for their legal problems at a young age.I developed selective mutism and depression.Recently my parents have gotten back together and I'm worried about my mother ganging up on me again like when I was younger.I'm 18 now and am in the process of being treated for what I suspect to be ADHD,PTSD,and or an anxiety disorder that hasnt allowed me to learn throughout school or start college because its so severe I can't read books anymore and I have no idea whats wrong with me(getting a psychiatrist was super hard to begin with).I guess I'm just looking for advice for working through this until I can move out and sustain myself without them in my life or your experiences if you've been through something similar.Just being around them or them being in my room pushes me into a full blown panic attack.

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