How do I get my child to sleep by himself at night.?

I would go about a step by step process. Your baby has become quite accustomed to falling asleep next to you, so it may be a longer process to get him accustomed to a new routine.

Firstly, I would involve him in getting his nursery ready for him. Perhaps let him pick out his new bed, a new teddy or soft doll, new bedding, a nightlight - anything, really that can help him feel involved and excited about his new nursery. Once you have his nursery all set up, hang out with him in there a lot to get him accustomed to the space, and comfortable with his new surroundings. Perhaps you could do the first part of his bedtime - and the latter part of his waking - routine in there (dressing, hair, story).

After about a week of adjusting to the new nursery (and with lots of mental preparation before hand - visual countdown calendars are helpful for toddlers), start having baby sleep in his own bed in the nursery, while you spend the night in there on an air mattress, sleeping bag, or camp bed. Once your bedtime routine is over, be sure not to give baby any attention. No talking or even eye contact. This will ensure better that your baby actually goes to sleep, instead of keeping himself awake for your attention. Make sure, also, that baby stays in his own bed. If he tries to crawl into your bed, put him back into his own without looking at or speaking to him (giving baby attention for something you don't want him to do will just incite the behaviour further).

After 4-7 days of you spending the night in there, explain to baby that you will no longer spend the entire night in his room, but will stay for a while as he falls asleep. Plan to stay a full hour, starting from the moment you end your bedtime routine (often a goodnight kiss). Instead of being in a bed, it might work better to sit in a chair, perhaps listening to an audiobook with headphones (so as not to disturb baby). Be sure again not to pay baby any attention once your bedtime routine is over. Let baby know exactly where you'll be once you leave the room (so he doesn't worry) and what you'll be doing.

After 4-7 days of staying 1 hour in the nursery, shorten your stay to just 10 minutes. Again, pay baby no mind once your routine is over. And again, let baby know where you'll be after you leave the nursery.

After 4-7 days of staying 10 minutes, plan to leave as soon as the bedtime routine is through. The afternoon you plan to do this, throw baby a little party, congratulating him on how independent he is to sleep in his own bed in his own nursery. Maybe elongate your routine a bit to include a soothing post-bath massage with calendula or coconut oil, talking through the day backwards, a nice long nurse (if you're still breastfeeding; if not a nurse, perhaps give baby a dummy to suck on if he likes), and a few extra cuddles. Follow through on your word to leave after the bedtime routine - NO MATTER WHAT.

If, after you've initially left the room, baby comes out of the nursery, use the 3-strike technique. First time baby comes out, give him what he's after (a hug, a sip of water, etc.) and then say, "Alright sweetie, time for bed," and tuck him back in bed. Second time he comes out, just say, "Time for bed, sweetie," and tuck him back in bed. Third and all subsequent times, tuck him back in bed without vocal or eye contact. It doesn't matter if 3 hours pass in between strike 1 and strike 2 - that's still strike 2. It doesn't matter if strike 2 was at 11 PM and strike 3 is at 5 AM - that's still strike 3 (unless, of course, you're okay with baby regularly waking you up at 5 AM; some parents do like their babies waking them up in the morning - if anything, little ones make great alarm clocks LOL).

Even though your baby is no longer an infant, this is still sleep training. Everybody, at some point, has to learn how to fall asleep on their own. Some people learn this effortlessly, and some need interventions. Babies who never had interventions (and needed them) have to deal with sleep issues as adults, and sleep training oneself - as an adult or even youth - is a lot harder than being sleep trained by a parent as a baby. Because your baby is walking (and perhaps even talking), it will be harder to sleep train him now than it would if he were still an infant. However, better late than never, and it sounds like your current sleep situation definitely isn't working (at any rate, you may want to co-sleep with the new arrival, and you can't have a toddler co-sleeping with a newborn).

IF your baby doesn't take well to a gradual process, it may be necessary to use a more, to-the-point method. In this case, a cot will probably work best (provided baby isn't able to climb out of one). To use this method of sleep training (often called, "extinction"), start with step-one in the first scenario (getting baby accustomed to the new nursery) and spend that first week playing in the new nursery, reading books in there, and generally getting used to the place. Encourage (but never force) your baby to spend time in his nursery. Make a countdown calendar for one week, hang it at baby's eye level, and each day, give baby a sticker to put on a square of the calendar, and explain to him how he'll sleep in the nursery once there's a sticker on every square.

On the big day, throw baby a party (just like the first sleep training scenario), again congratulating him on how independent he, sleeping in his own bed. That night, make sure your bedtime routine lasts a full hour. Layer in lots of cuddles and soothing activities. And once you've finished your routine, close the door and don't come in until morning. It may be rough. It may be rougher with a toddler than with an infant. But remind yourself that this is what he needs to do in order to learn how to fall asleep on his own, which will ensure that he consistently gets the right amount of sleep from now on.

Well slept people are better learners and do better in school. Children with chronic exhaustion (even just from getting 15 minutes too little each night) are often diagnosed with ADHD. Well slept people are less likely to become obese. Well slept people are calmer. Well slept people have stronger immune systems. There are all sorts of disorders and diseases your baby can avoid - just by getting the right amount of sleep at the right times.

Toddlers need 1-2 hours days sleep (early afternoon nap, going to sleep no earlier than 12.00 and no later than 14.00); a toddler's bedtime should be no earlier than 18.30 and no later than 20.30. Any later than 20.30, and the time itself will mess up your baby's natural circadian rhythm (which tells us all when to be sleepy, wakeful, hungry, etc.). If your baby is well rested and is going to bed at 18.30-20.30, he will naturally wake between 6.30 and 7.30.

Read the book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber. It will help you learn how to teach your son to fall asleep on his own in his own bed.

You are right, a kicking, hair pulling toddler cannot sleep with you and a new baby, so the time has come to get serious about teaching him the life skill of falling asleep on his own.

Tough love. Letting your baby cry for too long seems a little cruel but it's really not. If your baby is not lacking for anything, a little tough love is ok.

Just let him do what he finds the most comfortable, but he should try to sleep in his own bed once in a while.