Would you comment please on my poem?

Question

Endurance

Within Lynch Island's tangled tracks,
I stand before an English oak
whose girth exceeds all others seen.
Grey furrowed bark is tough on touch
as parasitic ivy clings
on vines that climb to giddy heights.

I circumvent a sturdy base
and with extended arms I reach
to measure round a wayward waist.
Five times I stretch with fingertips
beneath its overhanging boughs.
Five times the width of my embrace.

In days ahead with tree in leaf,
a canopy of heavy shade
will block each ray of lucent light
and dark the pathways will become,
that lead to where in May each year
white bells of Loddon lilies bloom.

How many Kings and Queens have ruled?
How many tyrants thrived and died?
How many battles fought and won,
yet undisturbed this tree stands strong
to oversee the misery
of England's blooded history.

If trees were able to convey.
If they could whisper words to us,
what secrets would they dare to tell?
That life prolonged on planet earth
is barely stirred by Heaven's grace,
far greater stoked by flames from Hell?

skumpfsklub · Accepted Answer

That's one big-*** tree!  There are bigger, perhaps, but that doesn't matter.

The poem is wonderfully well done, stepping along, obedient to the rhythm commanded in the first line.  And I wasn't bored even for the time it takes to blink.  Given my highly distractible nature, your poem does much to hold my attention fully through the whole reading.

Thematically, it's kind of a downer for me.  Yeah, history, from those people who write histories, is often pretty vile stuff; I knew that already.  But I know that much of the UNwritten history of man is unwritten because there was nothing to write about.  (There is at least one village found in Bulgaria that has apparently been completely untouched by wars & such for about 8,000 years.)  Still, you make your opinion plain, and with great style.

Do that again, soon, please.

Anonymous · Answer

Not bad, a bit boring to read though.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes,it is a wonderful poem and it is nicely written.

? · Answer

I cannot message you Cassie, nor receive messages, for the last month. Somehow, i can't loging to fb too. : (
Your poem is a work of art. It has your stamp of class, elegance and that easy lilt that is so very Cassie. I stumbled upon it late last night...and recognised you immeditely...even tho' it's closed i had to comment...it is so beautiful...it takes my breath away. Looking forward to reading and re-reading it again & again & again! : )

leam · Answer

'tis eloquent, I say, at best! Well done!

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you! Now I can steal this poem and claim it as my own!

P&#39;quaint! · Answer

Oh,  how your poem matures in the final stanza!!!

Just when I was getting ready for nostalgia ...you hit us with a hard note of realism!!!

Caz :) x · Answer

Hug a tree , if only it could talk to me 
I ve often thought about the old Oak  and all the things it s seen over the years ... Excellent Poem Cassie.

5 ft 7 Texas Heaven · Answer

I agree with someone who responded in the other site; the final stanza could be a poem on its own. The subject is dear to me.

fatma · Answer

I specially like this verse "That life prolonged on planet earth is barely stirred by Heaven's grace, far greater stoked by flames from Hell?" 
sounds like a verse from an ancient forgotten poem .. nice job :)

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Would you comment please on my poem?

12 Answers