Relationship Problems..Please Help?

Not only is this a physical attraction issue, it's also a health issue. Double whammy.

You can either

(a) confront her about her weight, say you are concerned about her health, and offer to help [ex.- maybe you both could join and attend a local gym together],

(b)break-up,

or

(c) accept her weight gain. Those are your options, and they all stink, I know.

Ok, so let's look at this from another perspective: what's her height and weight? If she's close to obese she should be losing weight for health reasons and to have any chance of having kids. It's one thing not to be beach body ready, but I think in this day and age we have a duty to be healthy, not simply to try to be healthier. Healthy doesn't necessarily mean you're a size 12 or less, it means your cholesterol, blood sugar level, bodyfat level, heart rate and blood pressure, organs are all working in the healthy range and that you can do normal things without it being a struggle like running for a bus, climbing a few flights of stairs, play tennis, walk and stand on your feet for a few hours without pain due to bodyweight. BMI is not accurate for gym bunnies due to their muscle mass, but it's probably a good benchmark for your wife. One thing I'll say is, however subtle you think you're being about her weight, you're probably still coming off like an elephant. It hasn't worked and you'll probably just make her worse and more upset, so leave any talk about this alone. Look after yourself and say nothing. Most women would want to get fitter if they were out of shape and their partner was looking good. If she doesn't respond to that, maybe she's got depression/she's unhappy about something or a condition or a reaction to something she's taking. If you've got kids or she's doing chores, she may not want sex because she feels like you're not helping her and she needs a break from her to do list (a day or two off to have time by herself while you look after things).

You address her health. That rapid a weight gain can signify something else that is undermining her health. Something that the gym is unlikely to cure. I suggest that you DEMAND she go to a doctor asap and find out what is happening to her.

Wow...big issues coming...guys are very visual and she needs to understand that. Ask her how she would feel if you decided to just stop working and not paying any bills (security issue)...

She may be struggling with depression. And its really hard to get motivatef when every fiber of your being thinks exercising wont matter anyway. Im not a thin girl, but im not heavy either. I had a hard time losing weight after i had my kids. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. And some days i just cant even find the motivation to clean my house. I also dont eat when im depressed although there is alot of other cases where people over eat from it as well. Maybe just try being honest with her.

if she gets pregnant, you can add another 30+ pounds

Two things.

Examine whether you are willing to stay in this.

Find way for you both to do this together.

Something is eating this girl, and she is using the food as a comfort.

Get to the bottom of it.