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Hooch
Lv 5
Hooch asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 5 years ago

My friend is in a horrible abusive relationship.Help?

We are really worried about him, there have been many final straws, many occasions where most people would have ended the relationship but he always shrugs it off because she has anger problems and it wasn t her fault The most recent event was on her birthday of all days, he didn t have his ID so naturally was refused entry into a club. She came outside and started screaming at the bouncers to let him in, she grabbed my friend by his throat and dragged him toward the bouncers screaming THIS IS MY F*CKING BOYFRIEND, DOES HE LOOK 12? YOU RE GOING TO LET HIM IN! ITS MY BIRTHDAY he takes her across the street so he can calm her down and then she punches him square in the face, cuts his eyebrow open and there was a lot of blood, instead of apologising and trying to get him a bandage because it was an accident as she claims, she ran away and we think it was because she no longer had control over the situation. This isn t the first time she has physically attacked him, its about the 3rd or 4th time and thats only the ones we know about. I ll bullet point all the other atrocities she has committed:

- She told him she couldn t get pregnant, gets pregnant and tells him it was all his fault (she had an abortion)

- She has told pretty much all of his guy friends that if she wasnt in a relationship with him she would sleep with them

Update:

One of our friends stayed over for a week because they had nowhere else to stay and said she treats him like her slave, never lifts a finger to help him and is demanding he do everything for her.

-She has text this same friend saying things like 'I know I'm a psycho girlfriend but I love it' and 'I know he's my slave'

-Everytime we've got together as a group to talk to him about it he always shrugs it off but seems very timid and doesn't say much.

- She checks his phone and Facebook

Update 2:

We've tried to get him to see sense and break up with her numerous times but its crucial it happens soon as they are planning to move in together and we reckon that will be the last we see of him.

Update 3:

They came close to breaking up before and she threatened suicide which scared him into reconsidering. We've learnt from a previous boyfriend that she did the exact same thing to him and although we are willing to call her bluff, my friend isn't. We reckon this is one of the bigger reasons why he won't leave her.

Update 4:

We all reckon she is definitely a Narcissist and possibly a Sociopath/Psychopath. We honestly don't know what to do, talks have failed and we've tried being civil to her despite the things in the past but we no longer can. We don't want anything to do with her but we reckon he will still choose her over his friends, we'll always be here for him and the door will always be open when he wants to come back but none of us ever want to see her again.

Update 5:

We've seen it change him and he's no longer the same person, he runs around after her like her personal butler he used to be funny, cool, confident, selfless and the nicest guy but now he's a shell of what he used to be. It's his first long-term relationship and he obviously loves her but we honestly don't see what he sees in her, there is no appeal. She's nasty, selfish, whiny, snobbish and its not even like she is attractive or admirable in any way.

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I dont know what to say it sounds like a horrible situation like you said. But you dont have control over other people unfortunately, he is a grown man, and there is nothing he can do besides constantly advise him, support him and let him know what his options are. He may just have to learn the hard away. Try to be stronger than he is, thats the only thing I can say to you.

    Good Luck!

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Worry about yourself

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