What am I missing?

It sounds like your lady wants a sugar daddy and not an equal partner. The idea that the man provides for the wife and kids is a little old and maybe even outdated. There are still men who don't mind playing (or rather paying) this part, but in general they are in well paying jobs and that's absolutely not your situation.

That makes her wishes unrealistic and I would put a stop to the idea directly. Be direct and tell her it's a nice fantasy but not going to happen. You can be equal partners and thus share the financial responsibility or she should leave because even if you wanted to, you cannot provide this.

And you might even want to think again about getting this second job. Being able to see your daughter and have some off time is really important if you don't want to end up burned out. Money is only going to get you so much in life, the rest you'll have to make yourself. You can't do that if you're always tired.

So think about what you really want for yourself. And then think what you'd really want from a wife/partner. Maybe you could do a second job and still see your daughter. Or maybe you're better of investing this time in learning new skills so you can increase your chances of a better job. Or maybe your fiancée needs to come down to earth a little and get more realistic with her expectations?

You are not obligated to be responsible for her children financially in any way, yet she expects that you as the "man of the house" are supposed to pay to support yourself, her, her two children from a different man, and also pay support for your child who doesn't live with you? Yeah, that's pretty messed up. Also messed up is her attempts at emotional blackmail making statements like feeling like roommates, etc. It's good that you're in marriage counseling (pre-marital counseling), because maybe your counselor can help with this, but I don't see a positive resolution to this. Her expectations are not realistic, and given that financial issues are a leading cause of divorce, this isn't likely to end well.

2nd marraiges with both having kids is a nightmare, dude. And she's not suddenly going to change and put you first, that's fantasy land and parents should put their children before 2nd spouses. The kids have been thru enough with having a temporary on/off parent for all of your kids.

Second, it's unrealistic for you to pay all the bills if she's working. That makes no sense. And what does paying bills have to do with romance and the relationship? She's going to let you pay for everything so she can spend all her money on her kids???? That's crazy.

Her expectations are not realistic in today's economy. But try this: get together with her and write down all the bills, hers and yours. She if there's some overlap, like car insurance, maybe. You might also see if you can cut some expenses. Another idea is instead of second jobs, you could look into a business together.

I think she needs to continue with her kids finances just as she had done before you showed up. Later down the line if you were financially able and wanted to make the decision to fund her kids then ok. I think it's a bit unrealistic to think you will be doing that, but hey, nice try. You need to rethink this marriage thing and maybe keep it as a roommate deal, unless you can afford otherwise. Good luck.

I don't think this marriage is going to work, better rethink this. Take a break from each other so you can really think what is best for you.

There is no reason why you have to support her and her kids fully, she needs to pay her half of the bills too. I see huge red flags and I could totally see her quitting her job and trying to mooch off of you in the future.

you sure you wanna get married?