Can I have a hug?

I was kind of the weirdo growing up and even when things got rough for me and everyone knew what happened, they all kept their distance from me. Just saying that to say because of it I had to just depend on myself, and my family wasn't good with emotional support either. So I've had to bottle up a lot and lack motivation to push myself to talk to people. ( I was left alone for so long I've become someone who can "get by" without people. My mentality is that of solitude. It's so lonely but it's hard to convince my loner self to talk to people... I just feel so left out and I just don't know what I'm living for anymore. My family has just gotten gradually worse and more distant.