Would it make me a bad buyer if I have asked seller to cancel an 'Commit to buy' item with a white lie?

I feel guilty. I have pressed a commit to buy item on mobile thinking it would tell me how much the item is when in large quantity (as it did not show on listing page), but did not realized it would mean I cannot cancel (I am an idiot).

I wrote message to seller 'ASAP please cancel item ASAP, wanted 4metres not 9, please cancel so could order soon thank you' but in fact the order was more expensive than i thought, i no longer wanted item.

I reckon he cancelled, but does that make me a bad buyer for not repurchasing item as i said i would after cancelling. Do you think seller is waiting for me to buy item after cancelling?