I have a religious political question or do I?

So, there I was, surrounded by New Day Baptist members, when the biggest sweatiest ugliest New Dayer of them all, Martha the Methodist, waddled up. Now I know what you are going to say, if she is a baptist, why do they call her Martha the Methodist? To tell the truth, that remains another unsolved mystery. As they say, god works in mysterious ways.

So, anyway, Martha, who has by then plopped herself onto(actually more like around because she hung over the sides) her Mobility heavy-duty electric scooter. Ironically, since medicare payed for the scooter, it had an "End Welfare" bumper sticker on the back.

So Martha says, "I wants to debate ebolution wit youse." Do you mean evolution?" I asked. She immediately blew up, "The good book calls it ebolution so ebolution it is!" she yelled. At that point one of of the people who were there to keep her from falling of the scooter, gave her a swig of Jack Danial's and whispered in her ear. Martha screamed and whipped out her bible and a black felt tip marker. When she opened her bible I could see that large sections had been blacked out. At any rate, she scrawled the letters C-A-T across two pages and said to her helper, there it says EBOLUTION right there! Don't call me a liar *****, I never lie about the bible!

To make a long story short, should I try to get a hold of Donald Trump to tell him that I think I have found his long lost mother?