Soon to be husband wants to get my initials tattooed on himself..not sure how I feel about that.?

Can he not wear it on a chain round his neck? He could have your first name tattooed on in nice writing. Is it the idea of tattooing you object to? If so, maybe he shouldn't do it. I had a rethink tho as to what I would do if that were me. Yes I might want something like that if I were unable to wear the ring.

I just asked my fiancee how she would feel about that and she said "I would like that xxx" I didn't prompt her or tell her it relates to a question on here. I wonder, too, whether you are undecided about whether you want a permanent arrangement.

Anyway, it sounds like you are a little unsure about all of this and judging by your history on here I can understand why. You have had an awful lot to think about and have had periods of fragile mental health as well as physical. On the plus side, if he wants to get something like that done, he is obviously committed to you. He also knows you better than anyone else, probably including your parents. If you think he is going to be loving and supportive maybe that, in itself, supercedes the negatives you have experienced over the last couple of years.

You say that he lives with you. Is he aware of some of the things you have said on here?

If you want my sincere and honest opinion I think you should be completely honest with yourself as I am feeling a bit miserable for you. I am not 100% convinced you know what you want in this situation. I think you could benefit from counseling where you have a chance to explain some of the things you have said on here and more importantly, get the answers you need to make a marriage with him work. I am guessing your reluctance to agree to even a simple gesture of loyalty from him means you are in two minds about all this. It was the first thing mine said when I asked her....she doesn't know what she wants. That is without telling her the other things I have seen.

I am pretty sure you don't want to hurt him but you also know that if you admitted to him that you have had wandering eyes within the last 12-14 months or so he would be upset about it.

Again, on the plus side, discussing on here was probably because you felt guilty about it which means you would be much less likely to carry it any further.

You can make it work, if you want, but you need the right kind of support and I think that would be professional. You have too many unexplored and unresolved issues floating around going into this marriage.

I can't tell you to delay things but it would be such a tragedy if it didn't work out because of these issues.

Personally I would really like things to work out for you both and sincerely wish you all the very best.

In the meantime, here is a joke to lighten things up a little .........

"When I arrived at her house, my mother in law was being attacked by a gang of around six thugs. One of the neighbors shouted 'For goodness sake aren't you going to help?' .............."

I said, "Nope, six should be enough!"

lol?

Dont get married then. Marriage should be just as permanent as a tattoo and if you arent comfortable with it then you are going to divorce him

You should talk to him about it. If he wants to do it because he wants to do it, then that's his choice. If he's doing it because he thinks you'd like it, you need to tell him how you feel about it. Ultimately, it's his decision.

If he wore a ring it would be essentially

the same thing. The only difference is

that it would be something he could not

easily take off. Is that the weird part? Why?

Tell him its going to be hard to find someone with the same name after you leave him.

He's offering to do it because he thinks you'll like it. If you don't like it, then tell him not to do it. He won't mind.