Have you or another married couple you know ever tried a separation as a means of trying to improve your marriage?

I only know one couple who did. The marriage was rocky after 3 yrs. No children at the time. He walked out, said he needed to think a while. No contact for @ 2 wks. They had dinner, talked for hrs. Agreed they would give each other a month to sort out the good & the bad, and discuss it again. Alone. No fooling around. This was time for reflection on the marriage, and decide what each other really wants. They met again. Agreed to couples counseling for a bit with their pastor. (Church was how they met, and this pastor married them). Biggest contention was about having children. She was ready, he was not. He wanted a few more yrs, fix the house, save money. She was already 32 when they married. Both worked FT. They got a plan in order, and back together. Married 15 yrs, two beautiful, healthy & happy children. Fabulous parents, stronger than ever as a married couple. He did side jobs to speed up saving, she worked OT until 1st baby was born. House got fixed up in time.

If separation is a way of improving a marriage then maybe marriage is not the thing that should have happen in the first place, usually people enjoy being with someone enough to get married so I can't see the logic in this?

Yes, and it worked for them. They laid down their own rules and I believe they both ended up dating a few people here and there, but both deny any kind of sex happening. They were separated for 5 months, came back together, went to therapy, and are now happy enough. Their problem, like most couples, is that they lost the ability to just talk to each other and didn't know how to communicate worth a damn. The fact that both made the effort to save their marriage ended up speaking volumes to one another and they decided to give it another shot and have been together now for 10 years (the separation happened into their 8th year of marriage).

It helped them see that they love one another and didn't want to give up what they had. They just had to learn how to talk again.

Separation is a rehearsal for divorce. You separate because you lack the courage to go through with the divorce. I've never seen a separation that resulted in a permanent reconciliation. Rules!! If you are separated, the rules are, there are no rules. You just live as if you were divorced. It's over anyway.

Only a man would think of this question. I had friends who did this he told her no dating and no sex while we take a break from each other oh by the way, you are stuck with the kids because I have to work and this way I know you will not mess around. He wanted a break from the kids, wife so he can **** around as he was before he told his wife they need a break from each other. His wife who loved him more than life itself didn't know what to think, here he is running around after woman as she would slave over him. She catch that piece of garbage in the action and she said, oh I see why you wanted a break. So Mr. M. We all know why you want to really separate it's because you want your whore to come stay with you and be free to be a honyourself. You do not deserve to be married to your sweet wife. You are a pig and you deserve to be alone by yourself.

I did. I stayed in the home and raised the kids and she ran off to her parents place and payed no rent or any bills and spent all her income on herself. After a while she went to live on her own and realized being an adult is expensive. Shortly after "being on her own" we started to talk and got back together, but she never really learned her lesson. Time passed and she went back to being selfish and self centered. So naturally, she when back to her parents where she pays no rent of any bills. The kids and I are glad she is gone.

How is seperating working on your marriage? That makes zero sense. Working on your marriage is staying together, but changing the way you act, adjusting your attitude, and treating each other differently. If you are seperated, you dont have the opportunity to do any of that.

Usually a separation is prior to a divorce.

Yes and it worked on a temporary basis. We reconciled and divorced a couple years later.

yep I know a couple. They got back together cause they realized they didn't love anyone else other than each other