Is it disrespectful not to go to a wake or funeral if it is open casket?

For the wake, you can go and remain in the foyer so you can at least be part of the service in a spot where you do not have to lay eyes on the deceased relative.

I have never been to a funeral where there was an open casket at the church. Once the casket leaves the mortuary, it is sealed and not permitted to be open due to health reasons.

If you choose not to go, there will be no consequences. Unless of course, your family decides to be insensitive to your feelings and gives you a hard time OR you end up regretting not attending the funeral service and are riddled with guilt that you place upon yourself.

You can still be part of the services and get your closure without having to see the open casket. You do not need permission from anyone to do that, just go and do what is comfortable for you.

Maybe you could go, but go nowhere near the casket?

I'm in the UK, and we don't do it that way, thank heavens!

The casket (we call it a coffin) stays with the undertaker/funeral director until the church service. It then arrives at the church in the hearse, and is taken directly to the crematorium or the cemetery after the service. It doesn't stay at the deceased's home or anywhere else, and it's always sealed shut.

I wouldn't want to look at someone who had died either - I've never understood why that would be done.

A nice photo on a table is quite enough!

The question is too specific, it's the same as it not respectful to skip a funeral. No matter the reason, you aren't paying respects if you don't go to do that, so it has to be disrespectful. You don't have to go near the casket, but skipping a funeral of a close relative isn't appropriate. You aren't the only one who has this uneasiness about it, I could say it's ok and that you should do what you're comfortable with, that it's no one else's business and it shouldn't be, but that's too much. You should go to your close relative's funeral, any "reason" you may isn't really going to cut it. Relatives will take note of your absence, so there are real consequences that happen and you can't ever "explain" them away

Funerals are for the living, and not everyone thinks it's respectful to be viewing someone after they have passed.

There is nothing disrespectful about staying away from something you would find disturbing - so don't let anyone force you or criticize you for mourning in your own way. People get weird when someone has died, so just chalk it up to grief. Stay home, do something else to remember your grandparent. Everyone grieves in their own way. You're not being disrespectful at all.

Think about it this way—the person who has died would not want you to feel uncomfortable in any way, and if you decide to pay your respects in another manner, they would be just as happy as they would have if you had come to the funeral. The place where you pay your respects doesn't matter. If you feel that it would bother you, you could either attend and not look at the body, or you could stay at home. If anyone complains, tell them the truth. You were uncomfortable and you'd rather remember them as they were, not as a body at a funeral, and you feel that they would prefer for you to remember them like that.

I had to bury my step-father all by myself. My mom was in a nursing home when he passed. I had him cremated and had no viewing because i could not handle seeing him in a coffin as i was his caregiver and wanted to remember him before he passed in the nursing home. I couldn't even go to view him at autopsy. I did have a memorial service at the gravesite and attended that. I would regret it forever if i didn't go.

NO. The empty shell in that casket is long gone. One can just as easily pray for their soul at home or at work.

Please go to the wake and funeral. You won't be able to forgive yourself if you don't. Yes, it will be very hard but mingle through the people attending and hear the wonderful things people have to say about your grandpa. You will feel grateful that you attended. I feel for you.

No, it's not rude or disrespectful. I'd rather remember the person as they were when they were alive.

Yes