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Why do I feel this way?
Everytime my parents yell at me or I get in trouble, no matter what it is, afterwards I always feel uncomfortable and want to crawl into a corner of shame. What is that? My mom recently just yelled at me for something I really don't think is my fault, but even if though I feel that way, I still feel shameful. Also, I feel uncomfortable doing anything I want to do like draw after getting yelled at. Like, I don't know why that is. Is there any way I can control it, as well?
2 Answers
- ThemLv 75 years ago
There's Guilt and Shame - and the saying is....... Guilt is "I made a mistake" - and Shame is "I AM a mistake". Shame is pretty deep stuff. It seems to work on and destroy your very essence.
Anyway there's books around about Shame which explains it and tells you how to deal with it. The bottom line is that you have to understand how it works - where it comes from. If you feel Shame now, your parents have probably used it on you a lot over your lifetime - so you have a fund of it built up.
But always when you feel this way, look under it. You will often find that hidden beneath this sense of shame is a terrific amount of anger/rage. This can be entirely unconscious - and exists because you have been shamed over and over. This unconscious anger is a great thing to understand because it can cause you even physical pain down the road.
