Women like the bad guy?

Your observation is valid, but the reasons underlying them are not clear to y ou.

The human brain seeks out experiences that will reinforce the non-conscious patterns/pathways in our brain.

We ALL grow up with SOME self-esteem issues, although hopefully the more we mature and gain life-experience as an adult, the more our self-esteem improves. Certainly for those in their teens, only about 3% of them HAVE self-esteem at that point in their youth.

The less self-esteem we have, the more we will unconsciously seek out those who treat us badly. Their behavior reinforces our non-conscious brain patterns of “I just don’t matter, don’t deserve to be treated well”.

As far as chasing after players … all of us are constantly transmitting non-conscious signals about who/how we are .. and others are always constantly “reading” these signals. It is no accident that the screwed-up girls chase after screwed-up guys for screwed-up relationships full of drama and suffering.

The big problem is that lack of self-esteem is also THE major cause of relationship problems. The person is “on guard” for attacks on their worth, so they get upset even if something is not an attack. They over react, both over valid attacks on their self-esteem and also on innocent behaviors. In short, these people make a mess of the interactions.

If you are a nice guy and young, it can be very frustrating to watch these girls being attracted to guys who treat them badly. Rest assured, THEY do their own “bad treating” back .. scenes, tears, anger, breakup/gettingback/breaking up .. the “c’mer-c’mer-g’way-g’way” game in endless repetition.

Sure, you can start to treat women badly. And THAT is the kind of woman who will welcome you.

The GOOD women .. the ones who are intelligent, calm, have self-esteem, and have enough emotional maturity that they don’t get upset over nothing or create emotional drama/scenes .. THESE are the women you want if you want to be happy with a woman. And they will dump those “bad boys” at the first sign of misbehavior .. because such women respect themselves and know that they (as anyone is) are worthy of being treated with respect.

So perhaps you are too young yet for there to be many girls around you who are healthy enough to make a happy relationship.

You don’t really want to get into situations where you get hurt … every time our heart gets hurt, it hardens a little more. We become more afraid to open up to the uncertainty and vulnerability of loving .. and so the odds that we will EVER attract someone we could make it last with become lower and lower.

Just wait. YOUR day will come, and it will have been worth the wait.

Healthy women seek healthy men.

Personally it's something I've always done without knowing. Nearly every guy I've attracted has turned out to be an asshole, one way or another.

But I still like them. I can't explain why, I feel like I don't even know the answer myself.

I feel like it is very difficult to find genuine men, gentlemen.

I'm a very well-rounded 19 year old girl, but I suppose my one flaw is that I attract the wrong men.

Even so, I have a long life ahead of me.