After I accept Jesus as my whatever, Am I still guaranteed heaven if I steal money from the collection plate?

First of all you I believe you need to look at yourself and consider if you really did give your life to Jesus judging from the phrase “accepting Jesus as my whatever”. Also the fact you’re considering stealing from the collection plate suggests that the transformation that one goes through once giving their life has not occurred within you. Stealing is a sin and no sinner can or is guaranteed heaven. Since you’re asking the question, hopefully you haven't done this and so please don't. Speak to an older person within the church for advice regarding committing your life to Jesus.

That's how it's supposed to work.

Do any horrendous thing you like, repent, and walk into heaven.

So much for the moral high ground the religioneers pretend to be camped on.

no. Accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior would make you not steal at all.

Ask a Priest.

"whatever" does not translate into "Lord and Savior", neither in terms of language, nor in terms of attitude.

That works best for Baptist.

Maybe, maybe not, but you will pay it back one way or another.

NOPE