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Why is it assumed that a mothers relationship with children is more important than a fathers?
You see it over and over again, especially when you look at divorce records, not to mention movies/tv shows really anywhere in the media. Id like to think that Im a good father, I spend more time with my children than my wife, I do all of the care taking involved with my children even, I provide the lions share of the income. Yet if you were to ask almost any random person to pick which of us(myself or my wife) should have custody of our children in the case of a divorce and without any prior knowledge of our relationships, I can say with certainty that most, if not all would pick my wife, for no other reason than she is the mother.
I am happily married and Im not looking for advice as far as divorce or anything like that only why this is predominately the opinion in even todays society.
2 Answers
- LizBLv 74 years agoFavorite Answer
For the same reasons raising children is considered "women's work" whereas paternal participation is seen as more optional (hence why working mothers are routinely criticized for having careers outside the home, and fathers seldom are). And also for the same reasons why someone would call you a wonderful, amazing, involved father for doing all you do, but a woman who does those same things is just called "a mom." It's sexist assumptions about the roles of mothers and fathers that doesn't serve to benefit either, or their children.
Also, details DO matter and will change people's answers. For example, if the child in question was a 3 month old infant who was still breastfeeding, pretty much anyone would say the child needs the mother more (since, yanno, boobs). But if the child is a 16 year old boy who could only live with one parent, more people will say he should live with the father. Kids' needs do change throughout their lives, and personally, if you asked me the question "who do kids need more?" without providing any details about the family situation, I just wouldn't answer. There are too many factors involved for the matter to be that simplistic.
