Husband has, and is still talking bad,telling lies,and brainwashing my two grown daughters against me.?

"accept the things we cannot change".

First, I promise this isn't AA advice! I just think the Serenity Prayer has unlimited value and I've "recommended" it to many people. On the above, I'm not saying the situation won't change. I'd bet big money it will. What I'm saying is you won't be the instrument of that change. It will come from your daughters.

Here's why I think this will change. For one thing, there's loads of evidence that most people growing up with one parent trashing the other parent will figure this out sooner rather than later. Regardless of anything you did, or problems you caused from drinking, your husband had no right to do what he did. It's bad parenting and it doesn't benefit your daughters (or their kids) in the slightest.

Also, many shrinks confirm that a lot of us grow up blaming the wrong parent and when we're in our 20's or even early 30's, the light bulb goes off. It sounds kind of nutty, but it's not! I served on a board once with a shrink who was talking about this and all his evidence. I've seen this many times among family and friends. The thinking is, it's a defense mechanism on the part of the adult kids. They aren't ready yet to accept a worldview that's upside down from what they've always thought and believed.

If it matters, I'm a substance abuse counselor who entered this field because my mom died of alcoholic complications my senior year in college. So I know the complex feelings it creates. My dad, however, did not ever try to alienate us from her. We accepted the good in her and navigated around the bad.

So you don't have a choice for now. Ride this out and stop reaching out to them. They're old enough now to accept responsibility for how they treat people, and they'll figure it out. Sometimes it just takes one little offhand comment to set things in motion.

I also think it will help you to start looking forward. Every minute you spend agonizing over this is a minute you could have spent having fun. If you're still married, that's a little puzzling, but obviously it's your choice. Still, find things you're genuinely interested in and pursue them. One of the main reasons sobriety is such a reward for all your hard work is the ability to get in touch with your passions and explore them. There's so much out there right now, whether it's furthering your education, traveling, taking cooking classes, etc. I'm not mentioning these as time fillers, either. Do what makes you happy and let the rest play out.

If grown daughters choose to believe lies, etc then its their problem, not yours so stop wasting time and energy on bad talk, lies and brainwashing.

Grown kids choose what to believe. A shame they don't talk to you before judging.

not much you can do about it, all you can do is pray, personally, i wouldnt want to stay with a husband that was doing all that, just being honest

leave him. why stay with him. my sister went through this. seek help. you sound like my sister i wonder if you are. cant ask.