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How Do I Get A Girlfriend?

I'm 20 years old and I'm pretty tall and good looking. I'm smart and get really high grades at my uni, and think that I'm a pretty funny and nice guy overall who would make a good boyfriend. I really want a girlfriend because I am lonely but I don't know how to do it. I've engaged with a few girls here and there, but none of them really sparked. What should I do?

4 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 years ago

    May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money). A strong person isn't overly concerned with what weak people say, do, or think.

    My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

    1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

    2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

    3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

    4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

    5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

    6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

    7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you

    8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

    9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

    10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

    11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

    12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes

    13. Be known as a hard worker

    14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

    15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

    16. Truly care about other people

    17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

    18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

    19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

    20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

    21. Don’t act desperate for a date

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Ask your friends if they know anyone or try dating apps.

  • ?
    Lv 5
    4 years ago

    I will be taking Patronising's advice.

    I am also similar to the guy who posted question.

    Not smart with grade/school per se, but I have an abstract mind

    Perhaps I am too self-aware and become overanalytical when I engage with a girl whom I'm interested. Such as I would "pick my words" carefully before it came out of my mouth ... Sometimes that makes me seem slow and robotic, flustered even.

  • 4 years ago

    You are doing one thing wrong, you are thinking before you act. Smart people are nearly always guilty of that.

    When you are around girls in future, don't think, just open your mouth to talk and the right words will come out.

    Confidence breeds confidence.

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