Why is she sending me mix signals?

We are both woman, I am much younger than she is. We have made out plenty of times. She feels and massages my boobs. When I tell her about my feelings and that I think she likes me too, shes says she doesn't have answers on why it happens. I know she doesn't want nobody to know she is a lesbian, only when were alone together, She says she doesn't see a relationship with me.

I said to her that I feel she is pushing me away after we get close, and I asked her if she tends to push people away and she said

but why is she being physical with me when she knows how much I love her. She said that who knows in the future she might come to me and that maybe I would push her away like she did.