How are you honourable and/or respectful to your mother?

When the ten commandments were given children were expected to feed and take care of their parents when they got old. In some society's they just died when they couldn't work anymore. Not so with the Jews.

USA does this as a nation because some people did not have children with the means to care for their parents. So we have social security and medicare. So as a nation we take care of all of our parents. We work and pay into social security and so the money is there and our parents do not have to beg or die. Wonderful provision.

I'm not anymore, she passed away three years ago.

I clean the bottom of her cage every day, and feed and water her.

Well, let's see....

I am pretty much a mess; I'm a man who has not managed to do much in life except to make a multitude of mistakes, and hurt everyone around me. I am a failure as a husband, a father, certainly as a son.

I am sarcastic and snarling, an alcoholic, have never managed to make much money, and am HIV+. If I haven't managed to drive people away, it isn't because of any quality of character on my part; I am snotty and snobbish, an elitist who has no reason or validation for being so.

Yes, I am not an easy person to deal with.

My mother, however, loves me and, remarkable as this may seem....is actually proud of me. I don't mean proud of all of the rotten things I have just divulged about myself, I mean she is proud because she has an unrivaled ability to see the good in people.

She isn't blind to my faults, certainly not just because I am her son. It just is that she sees, even though I am a man over 40, potential in me. I know every mother---usually--thinks the world of her children, but my mother is one of those exceptionally rare types who accepts and loves first, without expectation, but ever with hope.

How can I measure up to giving my mother the honor and respect that she deserves? I can't. I do not have it in me.

It is one of the very rare good things about me that I recognize that fact, however.

I filmed her suicide.

My mother is the most amazing woman I know and I try to let her know that as often as possible. She is so incredibly strong, yet loving and she's the least judgemental person I know. There is no way I could ever give her all of the respect that she deserves but I try to never let her forget how appreciative I am of all that she has done and continues to do for me.

i wish i could BUT MY MOM DIED in dec 77...she was a wonderful woman...I will see her at Rapture.