How do I stay sane when all my family is dying all around me?

I'm 19 years old and I've always had a lot of trouble dealing with death. I know death is never easy but I have always had a very hard time dealing with it. I have a very large family. My mom is the youngest of 10. My dad has 6 brothers and sisters. On top of that my grandparents on both sides had tons of brothers and sisters who had kids, kids kids. As large as our family is, most of us still live in the same area, and we are all very close. But with a large family, comes a lot of death. I would estimate that I go to 3-4 or more funerals a year. And it eats away at my heart so much. I am constantly dealing with death and sickness. I couldn't count the number of close people I have had die in my lifetime and I have only been on this earth 19 years. It seems I am constantly grieving over somebody. My mother Is 51. She is the youngest of 10. Two of her sisters are sick right now and might not have much longer. One just had open heart surgery and the other may have to have her leg amputated. Two of her brothers died and I was with one within 24 hours of him dying of cancer and it absolutely killed me.

Everybody around me is dying.I have nightmares. I had a nightmare where I was at my uncles funeral and a bunch of my family were dropping dead at the funeral just one after the other. I can't handle it anymore as soon as I feel like I've mourned enough over one, another dies. I've been depressed since I was little and I have an anxiety disorder so it doesn't help. Please help :'(