My 13yo believes he is under no obligation to do anything my wife or I say. Suggestions?

Punish him.

I don't know your son personally but I'm 13 and maybe he needs someone to talk to try sitting down with him talking to him and seeing what the problem is (I sure wish my parents are like that) maybe he just needs someone to talk to if that doesn't work take his phone away hide his clothes don't buy him anything nice take away his blanket take away his tooth paste I mean really go crazy with this BTW make sure the scared straight thing is you last resort that can really damage your child's future

not to old for a belt try that

he will have obligations all his life to other humans---- to teachers, to bosses, to romantic partners, to his own children. he has to learn now about being a responsible human being.

contact local social service agencies and law enforcement about programs in your community for "out of control" youth

Perhaps scared straight might not be the best option, but instead outward bound or some other programs. There is such thing as defiance disorder, and my cousin (who is 15) has it. She has recently gone to therapy and programs for it across the country after breaking too many rules and crossing too many lines. In her program, she had to work from the bottom up to get more privileges and work with the rules that the people put in front of them, as well as therapy to pinpoint why the child may think the way they do. She worked with psychologists and was also supervised very well, and socialize with other teens (your son might have some bad influences at school, youth group that are feeding into this). If you look up programs for kids with defiance disorders, it could be an option.

You're under no obligation to give him anything either. No electricity, no phone, no bed, no door, no food, no clothes, ect. Do it for like a week or until he breaks. Who is the parent and who is the child?

In that case tell your child you are under no obligation to feed, clothe or give him a bed to sleep in.

Take all privileges away.

He is right, but then again you don't need to provide him with a phone, computer games, a bedroom door, ect..

Ask your local sheriff if there is a "scared straight" program nearby. If the sheriff wants to know why your child needs it, say disobedience. That right there is a huge reason a lot of kids end up in the scared straight program...not listening to their parents. And the inmates will scare the crap out of them as soon as they find out your child is being disobedient to his parents...

good stuff!

You need to get tougher on him simple as.