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I m needier than he is. How can I learn to let him go do his own thing without it upsetting me?

He s so independent. He comes to me for a few mins of attention here and there, then he s good. His "love bar", as I call it, is full, and off he goes to do whatever it is he wants to do. He has offered to pay for me, but I feel bad. We re still new and I don t want him to feel like he has to pay for me already. He answers texts and stuff. I try not to overdo it. I wait a few hours so he can enjoy his stuff, then message him, he answers and I wait a while before I answer.. I try really hard not to exude needy .

I ve explained to him I need more time/attention for my "love bar" to fill and he tries to be more accommodating but it starts wearing him out and feeling like it s a chore. He s even started making it a point to give me a day every week where it s just him and me, which I love... but then the next day I m back at square one when he wants to go game or w/e.

How do I gain this independence he has? I don t want to be needy and insecure anymore. I don t want to be sad when he goes off to pursue his hobbies with his friends. I want to be happy to let him go do what makes him happy. I try to find other things to do but really I m just sitting there waiting for him to get back, and I hate that feeling. How do I be genuinely happy to go do my own thing? How do I stop feeling so desperate for his attention ALL the time?

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 years ago

    U should get a life. Really. U sound like a loser who is bored out of her wits. Go to gym, get enrolled into some courses, start jogging, get a pet. Do something with your life, dont just sit there waiting for someone to entertain u. This ks not love bar u re filling, this is your boredom and nothing to do

  • g
    Lv 7
    3 years ago

    You need more to fill your life than "letting" him live his. You're centering your world around a guy instead of making time for him like he does with you. Hiding your needy isn't enough - learn to be your own person.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    3 years ago

    Do you not have your OWN friends or hobbies or interests?? Go do those. If not, go find some. Try different things to see what you like. Bonus is that'll make you seem adventurous and interesting too.

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