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How do I handle my husbands family?
2yrs ago now my husband convinced me to move down south where he is originally from. Ever since we have been here I hate it. I don t like the culture or the racial divide. The older population is lovely but I haven t found anyone in our age range that I enjoy being around. The worst part of this situation is that I cannot stand his family. They are very different from me. I enjoy learning, deep conversation, art, literature, world travel, healthy eating, green living, etc. All of which are very low on there spectrum of importance. I really don t enjoy the way his cousins raise their children (who are the same age as my son). They live off the system and their idea of parenting is spanking and screaming at their kids at the top of their lungs. The kids are always bad behaved but I don t blame them for it. They have no polite social skills and always fight with my son. One of them actually bit him last Christmas and everyone brushed it off like it happens all the time. I am still floored my husband is related to these people. He is so intelligent, polite and just so well rounded. I just don t know what to do. My husband doesn t want to move so I have been grinning and bearing for 2yrs. But I m just lost. I dread holidays and birthdays and all the family events I used to love because I know I m going to be forced to be around his family in one of their dirty animal infested homes full of people screaming at barking dogs and untamed children.
7 Answers
- Anonymous3 years ago
They may not be perfect, but don't you have any feelings for them? Any heartfelt empathy?
They are people, too. I'm sure they have their good moments of love and kindness, humor, like anyone.
You come across as intolerant and lacking warmth. If you exclude people who don't have all
the same beliefs as you (green living, etc), then you are excluding a lot of people on the planet.
Many people don't get along with their in-laws. But the reason is not for the ones you listed.
It's usually because the in-laws ( esp. mother or father-in-law can be bossy sometimes because
they see their son as their baby and still want to tell him what to do, and the in-laws are older,
and demand respect maybe the matriarch or patriach of the family). The only thing you can do
is be as respectful as you can, but not spend every single day with them if you do not enjoy
their company.
- Pearl LLv 73 years ago
maybe you should move back with your son and leave your husband behind if he dont want to move
- Anonymous3 years ago
By being nice but not endorsing everything they do
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- 3 years ago
I think you have to tell your husband how you feel, instead of just putting up with it. He won't know how you feel unless you tell him, and if he knows how unhappy you are, then he might be prepared to compromise.
- BlessedLv 73 years ago
since he talked you into moving, give time a timeline. Tell him you are unhappy living there
and want to move back. Talk about giving it a year or two more and if things do not change,
then he, you and children will move back and live there for 3 or 4 years. It is not fair for you
to give up your social life to please a man who thinks of his relatives more than his family.
