What do my friend's actions mean?

Question

To boil this down shortly I once had a really good friend in college but he always "busy" with things. I wanted a close friendship but he never had time...there was always other things to do and other people to hang out with. Eventually I read this as he didn't have time for "me" specifically and I started distancing. Wasn't hard because I was always the one who texted first etc. when I left all the contact up to him we went from hanging out weekly to hanging out once a semester. So fast forward a couple years...

After nearly two years post-graduation, (and his marriage whichI wasn't invited to but many others were) he messaged me a day or two before Easter...asking about my dog by name! (Weird) We exchanged some texts, and he asked about my life and my plans for law school, I answered and eventually, he quit responding after I answered one of his questions. No drama, he just never responded...Like he usually did.

About a month later (roughly two weeks ago) I checked my emails one day, like I do everyday, and I see he has responded to an email I sent to him over two years ago. Just a paper I wrote I thought he would find interesting. In the email he said "thanks for sending this, I didn't see it at the time. Must have been busy. Hope you're doing well."

What's going on? Why is he doing these odd things after two years of not speaking? Is he just checking on me, is something bothering him, or is this just some kind of gag? Should I respond?

Mamawidsom · Answer

You are looking for some deeper intent when there may not be one.  It could be any or all -- or none -- of the following:

1.  This guy is just like he as always been and will float in and of your life and probably will never be good at maintaining contact.
2.  He is bored silly and is just reaching out to whomever he can find in his contacts or on Facebook or whatever.
3.  He realizes that he wasn't a very good friend to you and he is, in a way, trying to make amends.
4.  He is hoping you can help him apply to law school and is slowly reestablishing contact.
5.  He is in a 12-step program or cleaning up his life in some way and you are a checkmark he needs to complete.

If you want to know, ASK HIM.  He is the only person who knows.

? · Answer

Sounds like he wants to get your friendship back.  Go for it.

Pearl L · Answer

maybe he felt guilty about not keeping in touch with you and decided to do it more now

seedy history · Answer

It's called knowing people on a variety of levels for years. I've people I check in on every few years, they do the same. Adult "friendships" are usually very different from school year ones. He's not trying to be your best friend or your date.. just an occasional tag with people who have shared, on some level or another, different times in his life. MOST people do this. At least most of the people I know do.

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't waste my time on someone that has such poor manners. Seriously, why do you even care?

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What do my friend's actions mean?

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