Should I file a restraining order?

Question

I recently contacted my daughters father in a final attempt to find out his reason for not wanting to be a part of our 16 month old daughters life. He pretty much told me that he had a problem with me and sent this text "I want to keep my distance from you to keep me from harming you or myself". He also told me in previous text messages that I'm one of the reasons he wanted to take his life a year ago. He has never threatened to harm our daughter, but I don't want him to try to come around in the future and end up trying to bring me or our daughter harm. I still have these texts in my phone and would like to file a restraining order, but is what he said enough evidence to be used in court?

P.S. Not sure if it makes any difference, but I live in Virginia, he lives in Maryland.

Yeti · Answer

That's not usually enough for a restraining order. He may have enough to file one against you though.

If you're living separately, you can report him for trespassing if he comes around against your will.

You can file for custody of the child if you like.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Quit trying to force him into your kid's life. You chose to fvck this man and make him baby daddy but you can't force him to do sh1t, and that includes being a parent. YOUR faut you chose to fvck a deadbeat, hon. By fvcking, you give a man rights to a child whether you want to or not.

Go for child support. Get the clue that he wants zero contact from you. Do it thru the child support system. Also understand that this man owes you zero explanation for anything.

? · Answer

Seems kinda vague... not a "specific threat of harm." You contacted the dude. So don't. Rocket science.

, · Answer

Quit trying to provoke him and there shouldn't be a problem.  Filing a restraining order will only upset him more.

David 14 · Answer

You can't get a restraining order based on "in the future"

Lone Cat · Answer

No.  You don't need to create more drama.

First your upset that he wouldn't see the baby.  Then your upset that he might someday want to see the child.  Your practically begging him to see the child, and then you say that he's been threatening you.

If he's been threatening you, and if he's a danger to the child, then why are you asking him if he wants to see the child?

So before this one text you thought that him seeing the child was a good thing.  And now because of this one text you think you should go to court and get a restraining order.

Calm down and think things through.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to do nothing.

Addition.

Let's be honest.  You weren't "making one last try".  You were nagging at him.  This is just you being angry.

Ernesto · Answer

Learn Jiu-Jitsu.

Slickterp · Answer

Doubt you'd get one, TBH.  No real threat there, he seems to be clearly doing it for his own mental health, etc. He is the father, he will always have rights when it comes to the child.

? · Answer

If he does not want to be involved in his daugthers life nor around you what would be the point of a restraining order and based on that text it most likely would be denied,

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Should I file a restraining order?

9 Answers