Helping a dog transition in new home while old owner is still around?

It would HELP as V SAID.... for BF not to come over to see the dog. You have to build a BOND with the dog. But he (the dog) feels compelled to remain LOYAL to your BF since BF is in the picture => part of every day and "showers him" with attention, when he comes over.

See BF AWAY from the Butch homestead, and WITHOUT Butch the newly adopted dog. **Sign up for an obedience class with Butch and complete said class. The class will help you BOND and communicate better, and...it puts YOU = in the DRIVER'S SEAT. I've done rescue and placement for over 10 years. You may also want to pick up a copy of "Second-Hand Dog, How to Turn Yours Into a First Rate Pet" by Carol Lea Benjamin. Easy to find @ amazon or on ebay.

Change nothing in the dogs routine, act the same as if there was never a change in your previous residence.

Take the the dog to your vet for a wellness examination, as you're required to do by law as needed in a timely fashion by law. Bring in a fresh (less than two hours old) fecal specimen, for the sudden weight loss.

Who's depressed? Boyfriend? You? Then you both may need to seek professional help for yourselves, such as therapy, psychiatrist/psychologist and/or medication. Dogs don't get depressed, that's strictly a human condition.

Neither dog would have been hurt had the both of you supervised them constantly, not allowed the behavior to occur, corrected immediately when caught in the act, and ONLY securely separated/contained them when no one could supervise. Training/correction were the responsibility of you both, not the dogs.

It might be worth seeing if having your b/f not come to your home for a while would help the poor dog move on. Meet your b/f off your property and not with Butch around. He's still confused about what's happened to him and as long as your b/f keeps appearing and then disappearing again, he will be forever waiting for him to turn up again. He should make the adjustment, but with all this going on - it's going to take longer.

Dogs do adapt to a situation - when our lot were in quarantine, with us visiting roughly every couple of weeks, of course they'd welcome us enthusiastically but the moment the kennel girl came into their area, they turned to her, 'ignoring' us. That hurt! But it meant they had gradually adjusted to having somebody else food, groom and generally look after them, which I had to accept.

He needs time. It's big adjustment, and I'm sure the fight frightened him.

(Wish there were more people like you! I work in rescue, and the number of abandoned dogs is frightening.)

Good on you for taking him in! Just give him lots of time and lots of love, even if he won't return it. Dogs are loyal creatures and he still very much sees your boyfriend as his pack leader at the moment so goes crazy when he comes over.

Take Butch out on his own or with your boyfriend for lots of fun walks. Be the one who feeds him and gives him affection and he'll soon be treating the two of you equally and bonding with everyone else.

How long have you had him?

He was only at the previous home for 2 months so unlikely to take longer than that for him to trasition.

Skype or facebook video chat. I had to rehome my dog for the months nad we video chatted daily. It really helped

Well come on it's not gonna happen overnight. Dogs are loyal, and form deep bonds. You take a dog away from it's original family and it's gonna be sad. Just keep trying to bond with him, and distract him. Play with him, take him for walks. Be patient. Dogs, just like people, aren't always gonna warm up to you right away. And frankly I prefer those dogs. Some dogs love everyone, and that's cool. But when a dog makes you earn their trust, that's how you know you got a special one. Because once you earn it that bond is unbreakable.

Just give it time. He will be fine