Am I being shallow? What am I feeling?

I had been meeting a guy, he has a lot qualities I like but Im not sure if I really want to be him as more than friends but I have been trying almost like forcing myself to like him (maybe as a way to get over a past hurtful relationship). I feel that I miss him but when I see him I feel that maybe not. He doesnt take good care of himself . I had to beg him to get a haircut. But even like that I made the mistake of taking things to the next level to try, but sex was horrible, I saw his belly sagging, it turned me off, and I was just not into it, his dick was ok not that big but I just did not like it, I lied there hoping that he finished and felt gross. Why am I doing this? I still dont want to stop talking to him and he seems to be really into me.