How do I tell my aging mother she can no longer handle her job as association treasurer without causing a fight?

Question

My aging mother lives in an assisted living facility.  She is the association treasurer. No one else wants the postion- there are about 300 residents. My mother does not want to lose control of her postion and is becoming more and more forgetful. She just told me she cannot find over $500 of cash gifts (we counted the money together this week) for the staff. I have to go over and search for the money tomorrow. My mother also told me we would have to go into her savings account to make up the difference if the money is lost (or stolen). I keep on asking her to resign the postion, and she refuses. There is a bank account involved that she has signature authority over. She was supposed to resign the postion this month, and she apparently has not done so. She is now fighting with the executive director. How do I convince my mother -- or demand that she give up this postion -- without causing a huge fight? I am worried that they are going to hold me accountable for the cash (I am her guarantor). or accuse me of stealing the cash, or even worst determine that my mom is alzheimer's (she is showing signs of early dementia) and move her into the memory care unit. What do I do here?

KittenLittle · Accepted Answer

What are you her guarantor of? Talk to the executive director and make sure you aren't held responsible for her financials if she misplaces, loses or steals anything associated with her treasurer position. I doubt you would unless it stipulates it somewhere on any papers when she took the position. Once he gives you the all clear, tell your mother that since she admittedly thinks she can continue to handle this position, that she will be doing it alone. That means no visits to help her look for misplaced cash, no helping her with going over anything. She needs to be fit to do the job ALONE and if she thinks she can't, then she is unfit to hold the position at all and she needs to resign. This WILL cause drama but I think it's the only way she will understand she can't do this in the long run.

Pearl L · Answer

i would nnove her into a nnennory care unit, and i wouldnt worry about it, the executive director will probably nnake her resign

Anonymous · Answer

the key is "No one else wants the position"
Leave her alone, let the association find out on their own.

Go to Family Court, have Mum adjudicated "Incompetent"
With the Power of Attorney, you can do what you want.

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How do I tell my aging mother she can no longer handle her job as association treasurer without causing a fight?

3 Answers